I have met a really nice little Thai girl

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Dear Hillary,

I have met a really nice little Thai girl and she’s moved in and everything seems to be rosy but she doesn’t have much English, so we are having some communication problems, which is a bit of a worry for me, though she doesn’t seem to mind, and how long do these girls take to learn our language, Hillary, should I keep trying to get her to go to a language school or something and do you recommend one.

George

Dear George,

I think you are the one having communication problems, Petal.  That’s one very long sentence, try popping in a few full stops every so often and your written communication will improve no end.  Now I want you to repeat after me “I am living in Thailand.  The people here are Thai.  The people here speak Thai.  I should learn Thai if I want to communicate with the people here.”  Say that every morning before breakfast and take yourself to a language school – not your GF.  You are the one with a problem – not her.  OK?