How to play pool

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Dear Hillary,

I used to play pool back home and was in a weekly league so I wasn’t bad. I’ve been here six months and I find there are quite a few pool competitions out of the watering holes. My problem is that I’m nowhere compared to the girls in the bars. They are totally cut-throat as well as being damn good players. I’m just not good enough. Any suggestions?

Jimmy

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Dear Jimmy,

Rule number 1 in Bar Room etiquette is “Never play the girls.” You are breaking the rules, Jimmy old friend. Pool, like any other sport, relies on practice, and the girls practice a minimum of eight hours a day. How much time do you practice for? Long enough for two beers and out the door before she asks you for another? The answer, my Petal, is to find a mate to play with and spend a couple of hours in the quiet afternoons to play each other as practice. And I don’t mean a bar girl “mate” either. After a couple of months you’ll be ready for a pool competition.