How to make millions overnight


Dear Hillary,

Right now I just made $25 million, and all it will cost me is a fax.  Three separate emails in one day from people all over the world who have ‘over-invoiced’ accounts and have the surplus ready to be disbursed, or have been left money after their father was unfortunately murdered, or finally they were given money to use for a secret arms shipment and they ran off with the cash.  Grand total today of $92 million and they will give me 25%.  The senders of the good news were an accountant, a senior minister and an African princess.  Hillary, do people actually fall for this?  Surely if enough people bring this to everybody’s attention we can stop the nonsense?  Or do you believe these emails too?


Dear Multi-millionaire,

The emails are real, it’s just the subject matter that is phony, Petal.  Unfortunately there are still people who get suckered in by the thought of all that lovely money.  It’s a very basic human emotion called Greed, my Petal.  The more zeros you put after the number, the greater the greed and the bigger the sucker.  Hillary doesn’t know what to do about the unwanted emails, my in-box is stuffed with unforgettable offers, millions of dollars and do I want to see women doing contortionist activities with free access for three days?  Like you, I have managed to miss all these wonderful opportunities.