Home invasion!

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Dear Hillary,

I am single, eligible, reasonably well off and unattached. My big problem is where do I find ladies who like some fun and want to remain unattached like me? If I invite one home, my wardrobe will be filled with women’s clothes by the next afternoon and there’s a new toothbrush in the cup. Now I know I’m a great catch, but how do I stop it?

Jeremy

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Dear Jeremy,

What a pickle you are in, my Petal. I don’t know how old you are, but not too old I take it, and with your wonderful looks and a full bankbook, yes a great catch for one young lady to land. Can you blame them for thinking that all the attention you gave them last night (I’m sure the relationship wasn’t purely platonic) would still be there the next day. If you don’t make noises like let’s do it again, let me assure you they have memorized your address and her motorcycle taxi brother will bring over the heavy stuff. But you know that already. Jerry, my blushing petunia, you can either live like a hermit or put up with the home invasions. However, the third option, and the preferred one for you, is not to take the ladies home, but to your closest ST hotel, and there will be one near you (there’s one near everyone but me).