Hillary’s fruit and veg market


Dear Hills old fruit,

How’s things in Patts right now? I didn’t go your way this year, too many problems both here and there where you are. If things look a bit better I’m thinking about bringing the cheese and kisses with me in March. Safe enough? We would go to all the usual places, and a few bars to stop us getting too thirsty. What do you say?



Dear Jacky,

Definitely not safe – your wife (after I translated cheese and kisses) will not take kindly to the attention you will be getting from the “Hello sexy man” brigade, even though you are only going there to counteract the thirst you work up walking from one bar to the next one. But that is your problem, Petal. Pattaya itself will be OK, as it has been for as long as I can remember. Your problems are beyond my help. And I don’t like being called “old fruit”. Would you like me to call you “young vegetable?”