Help with mathematics


Dear Hillary,

My girlfriend tells me she is three months pregnant and wants me to pay for the doctor’s visits and the birth which she says will be in February. I am not here all the time, just every four weeks, but I am suspicious as she looks more pregnant than that to me. I’ve only known her since September. What should I do about this?



Dear Ern,

Somebody’s maths are not too good, Petal. Your GF is 3 months pregnant, but it is only three months to February. That’s a six months pregnancy. So she has either discovered a new way to carry a baby, or … Ern, start looking at your dates as to when you were here, and count backwards (use your fingers if necessary) and work out where you were in May. And after that start learning the times tables.

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