Heart to Heart – May 23, 2019


Thai Girls cheat?

Dear Hillary,

A couple of weeks ago one of you (sic) writers was wondering if his wife was straying, with the friends from the village and temple trips. Of course she’s cheating, Thai girls keep as many Giks as they possibly can, as long as you stay dumb. Tell her it’s over.


Dear Rob,

Do I hear the voice of experience here? Not all Thai girls, but any girls from any country can stray and will use local excuses to explain their absence from the family home. So in Thailand it is friends from up-country and dutiful visits to the temple, and one too far away to just drop by and look inside. You don’t need PI’s, just careful monitoring and looking at the photos taken there. She will get the tales confused if you wait. Then there are three options, walk away, confrontation or send her packing. You work out what is best for you, my Petal.


Race relations

Dear Hillary,

Everyone seems to have a complaint about Thai behavior, but here’s one about farangs. My problem is different and I am complaining about what farangs are doing in this town. The farangs make very abusive remarks about me and my 14 year old son when we are out shopping together.

I have encountered this on a few occasions with my 14yr old son who was born in Europe to my Thai wife of 17yrs marriage, and being just a normal parent with all of the natural instincts of a parent, I do react very strongly (verbally) to ignorant comments made directly or implied to me while out with my son. Yes I know it is better to bite your tongue but a sense of self respect kicks in especially when in a public shopping mall with many people around. My son and myself are getting used to dealing with this kind of abuse firstly by explaining either in fluent Thai or English either by myself or my son, that this is my father, or this is my son, and unfortunately your sick misguided thoughts are completely wrong plus I would suggest you apologize right now! This has happened on three occasions in the past 6mths. Should I have a T Shirt made up for excursions with my son (this is my son)!

If you Hillary or any other parents have suggestions how deal with these insulting comments I for one (and I expect quite a few other parents) would appreciate your advice.

Thank you Hillary.


Dear Parent,

There are plenty of ignorant people around here, so I don’t think you will change them overnight. What must happen, is you have to change your attitude. After all, it has only been three occasions in the past six months, you tell me. Don’t become ignorant like they are. Just remind yourself that in a few years your son will be taller than you and there won’t be ignorant remarks any more. Be proud of your son.


No small numbers in Hi-Lo

Dear Hillary,

My GF has begun asking me for money so she can play cards with her friends. Now she’s left the bar she tells me she is bored, so plays cards for something to do. That would be OK, Hillary, but the sums of money are now well over 2,000 baht a week. Looks to me like she isn’t playing cards for fun, but for gambling. It used to be a couple of hundred baht, but now we are getting into big numbers. What’s your advice?


Dear Ron,

Once the gambling bug takes over, you will not get rid of it easily. You can try saying no and see what happens, but don’t expect a clean stop. You can try giving her a budget to keep to, but that usually doesn’t work either. Make it somebody else’s problem. Read the fine print on a Thai driver’s license where it says, “In the case of an accident – Flee the scene!”


Where have all the men gone?

Dear Hillary,

Why is it that Thai women all love to be together and photos taken of them all? When you look at the photos, there’s never any men in it, why? The women are all having a good time and you’d expect that they would have at least one man in it. Men make up 50 percent of the population but zero percent in photos. Is it the women don’t want them, or the men don’t want to be seen with them?


Dear Chas,

This might be the reason, my Petal. If you’re going to stray, don’t leave photographic evidence behind. Not that all women stray (see another email this week from Rob), but a good percentage do. I suggest you ask your wife why there are no men in her circle of friends. I would also suggest you ask her in a couple of months and see if the answer is the same. There is another thing to think about. Have you ever seen a woman in the group photos men take of the bunch of them out for a social evening (read drinking)?