Heart to Heart – May 16, 2019

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Jerry to the rescue!

Dear Hillary,

Why do some of your readers want to pick a fight with you? You are doing your best and if they don’t like your advice they start complaining. Don’t these people know this is an entertainment page? Even so, your advice is pretty well on the mark.

Jerry

Dear Jerry,

Aren’t you just the sweetest man. But, Petal, I don’t let silly people worry me, especially when I know there are readers out there who understand what this column is about. These are readers with real problems, looking for confidential advice. Then, of course there are readers out there with a chilled bottle of bubbly wanting to send it to me. Use the Pattaya Mail’s address. Thank you for your support.

 

Forgive or take a walk?

Dear Hillary,

People forget when they are calling Thai women names, that cheating happens all over the world, not just in Thailand. How many who claim that they were cheated upon didn’t cheat themselves too? How does it go about throwing the first stone? I reckon that if you get cheated on you either forgive or take a walk. I did both – forgave her first time but she did it again, so then I took a walk. Should have done it the first time, I suppose, but we had been married for five years, and I thought everything was OK. Lost a heap of money, but you can’t live with a cheater I reckon these days. Should I try again with a new woman, Hillary?

Gerry

Dear Gerry,

You are still hurting, aren’t you. Are you sure you didn’t throw the first stone? It does sound as if you have finally made up your mind, so I hope it works out for you. You were obviously not happy where you were, but take your time in finding another lady for your life. They say a house is the most expensive thing you will ever buy in your lifetime, but it isn’t – it’s a wife, Petal. Tread carefully.

 

A real loser

Dear Hillary,

I’m at a loss here. My Thai GF loses things all the time. Keys, camera, and mobile phone. If you can carry it, she can lose it. If she goes out with her friends, you can be sure the next morning her phone is missing. I have spent hours checking with her friends, looking for a phone. She turns it off too, so you can’t ring her number. What is your suggestion?

Marty

Dear Marty

You should try and work out ‘why’ she loses things, my Petal. Have you ever considered the fact that your girlfriend is losing keys and telephones as a subconscious way of expressing her lack of satisfaction with the relationship or simply as a device to annoy you? It is very difficult, if not impossible to change someone else’s behavior, unless you change your own behavior first. I suggest you change the way you respond to her. One quick fix is to either don’t let her see that it annoys you or simply don’t speak to her for days every time she loses things. The best way though is to “Give her the monkey and let her feed it.” This is a Thai expression for allowing her to take the consequence of her own actions. It might work.

 

Barefoot and pregnant

Dear Hillary,

I think my steady GF will be moving in shortly, and I’ve got no problems with that – other than the fact she can’t cook. You see, Hillary, I can’t cook either. Burn water if I try to cook it! Is there a cooking school round here anywhere that I could send her to?

Rab

Dear Rab,

Woman’s place is in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant? That’s the message you’re giving me. I’m so glad to see that chauvinism isn’t dead. Look, Petal, there’s not much cooking required with milk and breakfast cereal and all other meals are catered for by the food carts at the street corner. Sounds to me like you are getting cold feet worrying about warm evenings.

 

Here today but gone tomorrow

Dear Hillary,

You are always saying that we should be looking for a mate anywhere away from the bars, but what if we’re not looking for a mate for the rest of our lives? I’m here for a couple of years at max, and I don’t need a wife dragging round behind me all over the world, as I don’t know where my next assignment might be. Nor do I need the additional expense of a wife or even live-in GF. All I need is home comforts while I’m here in Thailand, so surely the bar is the best place to find one? You have to agree.

Gus

Dear Gus,

So you are looking for a ‘comfort woman’, that’s fine, but, you have to understand that your lady who will supply those home comforts also realizes that this is a short term relationship with no real depth. That being the case, do not expect anything better than purchased comforts, and there is no reason to be ‘true’ in such an arrangement. These girls are very skillful at separating men from their money.