Heart to Heart – June 12, 2019


Wine gets better as it gets older

Dear Hillary,

There appears to be a misconception that anybody marrying a Thai is doomed to have a cheater. Doesn’t matter how many years they have been married, it will fail. Some of your writers put it down to the age difference – the old farang and the young Thai girl. But what nobody seems to see is the older farang and the older Thai woman. With young Thai females, they are looking for financial stability, but the older Thai woman is looking for companionship. In the young and old situation, after the Thai girl sees her security covered (the house for example), she doesn’t need the old man anymore, so she goes out by herself to have a good time. The older Thai woman is already secure and enjoys the man’s company so they go out together, and doesn’t need to cheat.

I am American and have been blessed with a wonderful 56 year old Thai lady (we started going out 10 years ago) wife. We do everything together and is just the best companion an older man could wish for. So I say to all these old men who complain about being ripped off, they should be looking for the older ladies, not the young beautiful ones. Like wine, they improve with age.


Dear Lee,

Very wise advice, but always difficult to get the older farang to ignore the persistent attention of a girl 30 years younger than themselves. Known as ‘trophy wives’, these are the ones that go cheating once they have what they want. I am glad you wrote in. It is good to get the other side of the story from time to time.


The parting gift

Dear Hillary,

After saving for three years, I have been on an extended holiday here in Thailand for the past six weeks and will be going back to Blighty in two weeks time. I had a companion who I found in a bar in Pattaya who has been with me for all that time, and I have looked after her well in return including a weekly allowance of 15,000 baht. I would like to give her something when I leave for her to remember me by, and want you to suggest something that she will like. Please keep the suggestions within a reasonable budget. I am not a Cheap Charlie but it is the end of my holidays.


Dear Felix,

What do you really expect me to say, my Petal? Why not buy her a house, a motorcycle and a year’s free veterinary bills for the family buffalo? You’ll be able to get all that for under five million. And since you don’t want to appear as a Cheap Charlie, throw in a house for Mumma and Papa as well. Felix, come down from the clouds, you have had the services of a ‘mia chow’ (rented wife) for the past six weeks, for which you have already paid 60,000 baht a month which is well above the going market price. She will remember you, “He was the nice farang man who bought me this gold chain which I am now taking to the pawn shop”. Enjoy what is left of your holiday and spend your money on yourself.


Traps while playing the field

Dear Hillary,

After my longtime GF left, I’ve been playing the field and it’s been great. Only problem now is I have three regulars (two ‘professionals’ and one business woman) and it is becoming harder and harder to keep them apart, and each one of them is making noises like they want to move in to my condo with me. TBH I am happier having my condo to myself, rather than walking around a second person in the place. You must have some suggestions for me in this delicate situation.


Dear Steve,

My first thought was “RUN”. The ‘professionals’ as you call them are in it to see how much money they can get out of the association, while the business woman will have you organized in no time flat. I don’t think that’s what you want either. You very quickly learned how to play the game, so continue, but just wind back from the three you have at present. There are plenty more out there, my Petal. Keep enjoying yourself, but don’t get so serious.


Cartoons show life as it really is!

Dear Hillary,

A few weeks ago you mentioned some cartoon books about life here, but I cannot find the reference. Can you help me? I haven’t been here very long, and I think I need a bit of guidance, as I think I’m falling into traps that the more experienced expats know how to avoid.


Dear Jase,

Yes. The cartoonist you are looking for is Mike Baird and everything in his books is based on truth. The name is “Falangs in Thailand” and Mike must have spent a lot of time watching what goes on in Pattaya. Stay here long enough and the humorous situations as depicted by Mike Baird will happen to you, so be warned. You can order Mike’s books on-line and he usually has an advert in the classified pages of this newspaper.