Heart to Heart – July 12, 2019 – July 18, 2019


Dramatic art at the bar

Dear Hillary,

Every week there’s another farang that has been taken to the cleaners by one of the beautiful little schemers from their local hostelry. These girls must go to acting classes they are so good at it. Nobody could be so good at it without lessons! Even movie stars have acting lessons. Or do the lies come naturally. If so, how can any of us trust them? And how do you stop falling in love with them. Acting classes again?


Dear Roger,

Sounds to me that you are the first of this week’s tales of woe yourself. If you are referring to the bar girls, Petal, their job is to empty the punters wallets, as quickly as possible. Time is money, after all. Some of the older ones are very expert at this and can keep several men on the line for years in some cases. The younger ones are too urgent and just milk one customer at a time. Do they have training schools for dramatic art? Yes, they have training schools, this is as in on the job training. The younger ones watch the older and more experienced ladies of the night twist the drinkers around their little fingers and then take them away for intensive therapy, whereupon they return with an empty wallet and then re-appear and beg for more the next day. The lady can oblige by milking the cash machine after getting your PIN number. And so the money wheel is oiled and ready to roll again. I agree with you where you say “how do you stop falling in love with them?” It is difficult, but true and lasting love doesn’t happen with two nights at your bar local bar and bar maids. You have a better chance with mermaids.


Dial a Date?

Dear Hillary,

Do these dating services use photos of the real girls? I’ve replied to a couple which seemed to be in their late 50’s, not early 20’ as advertised. I’m not even sure if they were the ones I picked out. They all say they can speak English, but after “Hello” that’s about it.


Dear Gary,

What do you expect to find in a dating agency? If a girl is a raving beauty, do you think they have to join an agency? No, they will have been snapped up years ago. For that matter, do you think ladies under 40 are going to look for a partner through an agency? No, they will continue to look around to see what is available, but by the time they get to 50 they will have run out of available men so go to an agency, to look just for you. Oh, the photograph. Yes, they are photos of real girls, but about 30 years ago. And for that matter, if you are like Brad Pitt you wouldn’t be looking at agency ladies either.


Dowries for non-virgins

Dear Hillary,

I am being asked for a dowry for the girl who has been living with me for three months now. I enjoy having her around, and we went up to her home town to meet her folks. Her mother looks after her child from a previous marriage. Her father has a small rice farm. My girl is now saying that her parents expect us now to get married and we must go back to her village for the marriage, and that I am expected to pay the dowry for her as well as paying for the monks and the marriage ceremony and party. I asked her how much did they expect and she tells me around 200,000 baht will cover everything. Honestly Hillary, that is a lot of money, being a bit close to 4,000 pounds and the exchange rate is getting worse every day. I don’t know that I really want to go through this at that sort of money. I understand this may be the custom out here, but I want your opinion on it. I haven’t got anyone else I can ask to get some sensible advice.


Dear Will,

I am so tempted to reply “Where there’s a will, there’s a wont” but I didn’t. The idea of dowries is very old fashioned, going back several decades. It wasn’t money, but pigs, rice and buffalo. Dowries were worked out to reimburse the parents for the loss of a virgin daughter who worked on the family small-holding. In this case 200,000 baht is a nonsense, I’m afraid. She has been married before and has a dependent child which her mother looks after. Your blushing bride will be sending money to her mother each month to look after the child. Don’t get sucked in by all this, Petal. It is a con. The village “marriage” is not a legal entity either, even in Thailand. Run, and never go near that village again. Time to show your GF the door too, I’m afraid. And after three months co-habitation (big word for a Friday) you may need to give the lady a financial sweetener before she jumps of her boy friend’s motorcycle taxi.