Heart to Heart – January 24 – February 6, 2020


Looking for a Lorek

Dear Hillary,

I’m your greatest fan. I love your column and am amazed at the patience you have. Would be throwing your red pen to the wall by now. I am an ex pat and live in Chiang Mai near the university. So, it is not the night time seedy part of town like Loi Kroh, for example. How you put up with letters every week from idiots is beyond me. To all those who fall for lines from bar girls, I say they deserve all the agro they get and ending up getting their wallets emptied. As a friend of mine (a media commentator) said, Thailand is for those poor males who could not get laid in their own countries. For all those idiots I have seen in bars bragging about the money they probably do not have, the girls just raise the prices for what they want and none of the girls cares whether the ‘Rolex’ they have is real. These idiots get what they deserve. As far as I am concerned, send them all to Pattaya!


Dear Ferdinand,

I spoke with the trouble shooters at Pattaya City Hall but they said for you to keep them up there in Chiang Mai, as Pattaya has as many idiots as we need already. However, looking at the problem that you have highlighted, perhaps an identification system is needed. A badge for the girls to state “Bar Girl wallet handler” or something like that. For the males, as they come through Immigration they get given an Octopus shaped ‘Sucker badge’ with first timers getting the 100 percent sucker rating. By the way, from the bar girl side of the pub the watch is a “Lorek”. But always remember that for a Thai, a watch is not an instrument for telling the time, but is more of a fashion accessory.


Puzzling behavior

Dear Hillary,

My Thai GF likes to go back to the village every couple of months to see her mother. I’m cool with this, as I believe it is a Thai custom, but she never gets back here when she says she will be. It goes from a couple of days extra to 10 days on one trip. There’s always lots of reasons why this happens like her dog gets run over, a local boy was rude to her and she went to the police to complain, so had to be there for the meeting with the police and the guy. The phone never seems to work either. Then there’s a funeral about once a month it seems, and I’m starting to get suspicious. What should I do about this? Or do you think I’m worrying too much?


Dear John,

(I love getting “Dear John” letters.) I think you know the answer to this already, my Petal. You’re being played for a fool. I’m sure she gets money for the plane from you and goes by bus instead, so you are subsidizing her behavior. What can you do? Well, insist on her coming back when she says and accept no excuses. The phone coverage in Thailand, even to Isaan is good. So tell her she either starts playing the game or it’s all over. Don’t continue to be a sucker.


Buy me how

Dear Hillary,

What is it with these men who complain about the way the Thai women relate to the foreigners? Don’t they understand this isn’t NY City or London? Your home country women have their own ways of getting money out of you, but they are more sneaky than the Thai who are up front about it all. At the beginning of the relationship it is “Buy me dress.” This later becomes “You buy me how (house).” Whereas the foreign female gets you to buy a house for both of you and then divorces you and keeps the lot. I’ll take my chances with the local ladies.


Dear Mike,

As long as you take care you’ll never be lonely.


Mixed marriages never work

Hillary, are you married? You never let us know. I think most farangs don’t understand Thai ladies and that is why their marriages break down. Do you agree?


Dear Mike,

There are always problems with these ‘mixed’ marriages – foreigners and locals, but if you keep your brains under your hat and not in the underpants you can survive very well. You look like you’ve got a good handle on the situation. Enjoy your life, Mike.


Follow the money

Dear Hillary,

I am tired of hearing that the Thai ladies are only interested in money. You could say that about any woman in any country. If you meet a woman who makes a big salary, they don’t need a man, but in Thailand there are very few rich ladies, so they need to hook up with a man who can look after them financially. Nothing wrong with that. Thinking ahead.


Dear Lance,

In Thailand, there are some women who are rich, but the only women with a big salary are Thai, and they don’t go on dates with ex-pats. This leaves the “ordinary” girls, but even they are difficult to get close to. The answer is the bar ladies who know what you need, but you must be ready for some give and take. You give, they take.