Heart to Heart – Friday August 9, 2019 – August 15, 2019


What’s the real story?

Dear Hillary,

It has always amazed me that your readers can get up to such impossible situations that they end up having to ask you to get them out of their problems.  It must be very wearing.  How do you keep smiling?


Dear Alfie,

What a dear sweet boy you are.  Yes, it is difficult and wearing, and nobody during my training as an Agony Aunt told me it would be like this.  However, if it doesn’t kill you, you get stronger as you get older, and I don’t think there is any situation I haven’t met by now.  But you haven’t told me, Alfie, why have you sent me an email?  You are not worrying about others who write to me – you are getting ready to write to me about your problems, when you are brave enough.  I am waiting, Petal.


Buying the whole herd

Hi Hillary,

After nine visits I came to conclusion that beach road girls and bar girls are the same, they hate men and they hate sex but they act like they do for the money.  Renting a girl “Mia chow” for a month with salary is very, very boring cause they speak very little street English and hang with you for 24 hours with nothing to talk about. 6 hours of sleep a night and one hour of “boom boom” leaves you with 17 hours of boredom.

I would not rent a bar girl mainly because God knows how many men she had.  Bar girls are life saving for an ugly fat and very old tourist who would pay any price for a young girl who makes him feel thin young and attractive.  After a month the man realizes the price quadruples after feeding the girl, buying her clothes and all her needs.  And of course for her “sick” mother and a father who need “surgery” and her brother had a motocy “accident” and money for her baby – all endless lies.

For that price the man could have 20 girls for a one night stand.  Variety is a spice of life.  You don’t buy a whole herd just for a glass of milk.


Dear Bazz (or is it really Barry?),

You certainly do have a boring life, don’t you Petal.  One hour of Boom Boom and six hours of sleep and the next 17 hours are boredom until the next day with Boom Boom, six hours of sleep and then bored.  I don’t know how your clothing shop girl puts up with you.  And your justification for not having a “mia chow” is that you can get 20 girls for a one night stand for the same money.  You are certainly one helluva athlete, as well as being “kee niow”.  Even at 4,000 baht a day for the mia chow (which I believe is four times the going rate) that means the 20 one night standers get a whopping 200 baht each.  Bazz, you are all heart and milk of human kindness (one glass, not the whole cow).


A honey from Soi Honey

Dear Hillary,

I started reading your e-letter reply to the many readers who are Farang Khon (sic).  I was at Soi Honey in August and met a girl while having a drink.  Incidentally, that day was her birthday and they had the whole deal – pig on a spit and balloons, and she showed me her ID to prove it though I did not asked for it. I am open to hearing anything.   As it was unexpected, I did not have a present at hand to give her.  However, I took out some “Ngern” and put it in her hand and wished her Happy Birthday.  I am touched by her sincerity.  When I was at Suvarnabhumi Airport going back to India where I am presently stationed, I messaged her but somehow it didn’t get through due to connection problems.  Two days later I tried texting again and she received my message. We are now good friends and I told her that one’s background is not an important criteria in friendship, but having a good heart matters more than anything else.  In short, one must have a positive mind when visiting a foreign country and extend a helping hand to those who work honestly for a living to support their families in the provinces, be it Sa Keow, Issan or Rayong.


Dear Jaffery,

I think you should be very careful, Petal.  What was your young lady doing in Soi Honey?  It isn’t one of our university sois.  She sounds very much like a professional chicken plucker to me, and you are ready to be plucked.  What makes you so sure that the lady has a “good heart”?  Do you usually accost someone in the street and say, “This is my birthday, and here’s my ID card to prove it.”  And ready to accept a cash deposit in her hot little hand.  Proceed carefully, Jaffery, or you will be sending me emails asking what do you do now, as far as the dowry is concerned.  BTW, it is Khon farang, not the other way around.