Heart to Heart – December 27, 2019 – January 9, 2020


Look out for older men

Dear Hillary,

Are some of your writers for real? They tell me there are older foreign males walking around Pattaya with young Thai women in tow! It could be more amazing if old foreign women were walking around with young Thai men in tow (not that it doesn’t happen, mind you). What is wrong with these people? Can’t they just live and let live? They aren’t doing anybody any harm.


Dear Bobby,

You just keep on enjoying yourself Bobby my Petal, and don’t get hung up on the life of others, because it just might ruin it for you. Just remember that those Pattaya residents complaining are foreigners themselves and probably worried that the visitors will get the pick of the bunch, if you know what I mean.


Randy Andy

Dear Hillary,

I never thought I would have to write to someone like you, but I’m here from the UK to look after my old father (he’s almost 80) and is, I thought, living on his own in Pattaya. When I spoke to him from England I got the impression that he was still pining for my late mother who died just over 12 months ago, but when I got here that seems to be nothing like the true situation. I find that he is going to girly bars at night and I have seen them fondling him in a most indiscreet manner. It’s worse than that, because he often brings one of them home. What can he possibly do at his age? Do you agree that a man of his age (and a retired civil engineer too) should not be handling himself in this way? I find it disgusting, and my mother would be horrified if she knew just what depravity he is up to now she has passed on. I would like your advice on how I get him to stop this sort of thing, as I am sure you will be just as disgusted at this type of behavior being shown by someone who used to be a loving husband to my late mother and father to me. My mother used to handle him OK until she got sick. Is it a medical problem, do you think?


Dear Antoinette,

No my dear, it is not a medical problem, it is a daughter problem. However, I do not understand your saying that he has been “handling himself in this way” when in the sentence before you give me to believe that he is being more than adequately handled by others! You should be pleased that your 80 year old father is still showing signs of life and share in his enjoyment of it. Life is for living, no matter what age you are and how much longer you’ve got. Time for you to lighten up, Petal. If your father is not asking to be looked after in a ‘wifely’ way, you should not presume to do it. If you want to do something for your father in a constructive fashion get him a medical check up and a packet of Vitamin V if he is medically fit enough, though it sounds like he is more than up to it already (pun).


A real loser

Dear Hillary,

My girlfriend and I live in an apartment in town. We have a good relationship except for the fact she keeps losing the keys and her mobile phone. This is very annoying, how can I stop her doing this?


Dear Annoyed

Have you ever considered the fact that your girlfriend is losing keys and telephones as a subconscious way of expressing her lack of satisfaction with the relationship or simply as a device to annoy you? It is very difficult, if not impossible to change someone else’s behavior, unless you change your own behavior first. I suggest you change the way you respond to her. One quick fix is to either don’t let her see that it annoys you or simply don’t speak to her for days every time she loses things. The best way though is to “Give her the monkey and let her feed it.” This is a Thai expression for allowing her to take the consequence of her own actions. It might work.


Gold Number 1?

Dear Hillary,

About a month ago you received some letters discussing whether all that Thai women want is money (or gold), so I hope you don’t mind if I put my two bobsworth in here as well. Yes, all they want is money, and by the bucketload. After they’ve cleaned you out, they disappear and you are left with nothing and they don’t show any remorse either. As a foreigner you are fair game, better get used to it.


Dear Jack,

Your bank account still empty and you are hurting, aren’t you, my poor Petal. But with any partnership there has to be an equal split. If you leave it so that she has everything and you have nothing, like the bee, she will buzz to the next flower. Be more honest with yourself, Jack. Let her have her own bank