Heart to Heart – August 27, 2020 – September 12, 2020


An air ticket for Mona

Hello Hillary,

In reply to Mona from Manchester. Her husband brought a bucket of sand to the beach. She traveled hours and hours on a plane to get here. If you don’t like it then go back to somewhere you do like things. Why on earth people fly halfway around the world, say it’s disgusting and try to be busy-bodies and make the new country conform to them is beyond me. She’s not complaining about total negligence or even total stupidity. She’s complaining about THE WAY THINGS ARE here. If she doesn’t like it then that airplane will take her home just as fast as it got her here.


Please Support Pattaya Mail

Dear PBK,

What an interesting set of initials, my Petal. What do they stand for I wonder? However, Mona is still allowed to air her opinion (no matter how right or wrong it is), just as you have been allowed to air yours. Remember, PBK, that most foreigners do complain about the way things are here… it doesn’t suit everyone, you are correct, but rather than just tell Mona to catch the next plane out, how about advising her on some of the other attractions of Thailand? There is more than just sand here, as we all know.

Balloons for pensioners

Dear Hillary,

I will admit I’m what you call a “balloon chaser”, but there are many reasons for this. You would have read the readers letters to your newspaper and seen all the discontented British pensioners there are. Frozen benefits and the pound sterling going down like a lead balloon. We are doing it tough, Hillary. You would go chasing free roast pig too, when you’ve really got to count the pennies. It probably doesn’t mean much to you, being a working woman, but don’t you forget we are only pensioners.

Bob the Balloon Chaser

Dear Bob the Balloon Chaser,

I may as well be a pensioner, Bob my Petal, as I can assure you that you don’t get much sitting in an attic reading heart-rending letters, yours included. I’m afraid there’s nothing much I can do for you, as your financial predicament is a situation that you have chosen. You can always go back to the UK, where your pension will be unfrozen, but then, you will be frozen. Your choice, Bob. Your choice.


Duds a-plenty

Dear Hillary,

There are so many lovely girls in Thailand, how come all the people who write in to you seem to have picked a dud? Are all Thai girls as bad as they are painted by these guys or what? I get nervous about coming over for my next holiday when I read all the horror stories. Is there some easy way to pick a good one?

Yankee Doodle

Dear Yankee Doodle,

You are forgetting that there is a legion of lovely ladies out there who are doing all the right things by their men, be that a short-term arrangement or a long-term steady/married situation. These people do not need to ask Hillary for advice, so you are getting the wrong impression if you think everyone is like the sad people who write to me. Many of them do try and warn the tyros, but I believe their situations and their problems do not really represent the majority of farang/Thai liaisons. However, remember that in any man/woman relationship there can be problems. Look at the divorce rate in your own country, for example. The last figures I read were 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce and 60 percent of second marriages go down the alimony alley as well. The simple answer, Petal, is to use discretion and judgment before plunging headlong into something that could be an unsuitable partnership. Is the girl always looking for money? Does her father have a sick buffalo? Does her brother fall off his motorcycle and break any number of legs requiring expensive operations, when public hospital treatment is very, very inexpensive? If the answer is “yes” to any of those questions, move on to the next lady, and apply the same simple tests!

No money for honey

Dear Hillary,

I live in the UK, but come over to Thailand twice a year. I think I would be better off having a bank account in Thailand that I could send some money over to when I have some spare, instead of walking around with cash. Some friends have told me it’s impossible for me to get a bank account on a tourist visa. Is this the case? What should I do? Should I send it to my Thai girlfriend? I don’t know her very well, but she does look after me when I go over there.

Bill the banker

Dear Bill the banker,

The safest way is for you to transfer your money into my personal bank account, where I will keep it safe for you. This is much better than sending it to some girl you meet in a bar. No matter how well she looks after you. Now I am joking here, my Petal, but that is precisely what many men do every year. Never put your money in someone else’s account, as that is the best way to lose it. Bill, you can open a bank account here – just get a reliable Thai address to use, that’s all.