Heart to Heart – Friday January 11, 2019 – January 17, 2019

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Ed’s note: Hillary has been feeling a bit flush this week, no doubt from the holiday cheer, so we’ve reached back into our wayback machine and pulled up an oldie but goodie for you to enjoy.

Dear Hillary,

Greetings! Ever since I laid my foot to Pattaya 5 or 6 years ago, I have been an avid reader of your column. I’m an Asian foreigner contract worker in Pattaya then, but when my contract ended and moved to another country I kept the paper’s website and kept myself updated from your column. Over the years of reading your columns, it still humored and amazes me of the different stories and revelations. But above all, as most of the stories I read are the few men who were able to find their partners and knowing Thai women, well the relationship was a happy ending after all! The thought crossed my mind of going back to Pattaya, this time not for work but for a partner… It sounds ridiculous, but I’m not getting any younger and the fact that I’m a woman! Well Ms. Hillary, I bet this is the most unusual letter you’ll ever read, cause this time it’s a woman’s search for a partner… wish me luck Ms. Hillary!

Lost Angel

 

Dear Lost Angel,

I’m sorry to disappoint you Ms. Lost Angel, yours is not the most unusual letter I’ve ever read, but back to your situation. You need a partner, and I can assure you that you will never be lonely in Pattaya, no matter what your needs in a partner entails – and you haven’t really told me much about that, have you? However, the simple fact remains for all people who come to Thailand looking for partners, if you choose from the commercial end of available partners, you will get what you pay for. A ‘mia chow’ or ‘rented wife’. “Love”, devotion, commitment are qualities you generally won’t find there. As in any relationship (m-f, m-m, f-f) go slowly, Petal. Go slowly! It is a dangerous battleground you are traversing.

 

Dear Hillary,

I had no idea my letter would post so soon or even at all. Just to follow up we made it to Bangkok, spent a few days with my wife’s family and within 3 days we moved into a condo here in Pattaya. All is well. While advice is your job, I’d like to say to your readers who have suffered in every imaginable way, a farang can never know everything Thai. Those who for whatever reason refuse to use common sense, and allow a certain body part to dictate their lives assures you will always have material.

Take Care,

Les and Lawan

 

Dear Les and Lawan,

Thank you again, and I do take care! That is certainly timely (and timeless) advice for those who read this column. Unfortunately “common sense” is an oxymoron, as it isn’t too “common”, is it? I’ll leave it to the gents loaded with Vitamin V to work out just to which “certain body part” you are referring! Enjoy your new condo.

 

Dear Hillary,

I was drinking with my mates the other morning and a Thai friend suggested that I needed a tattoo to look more manly. Well, at 4 in the a.m. you’re not at your best so I went with him for the tat. I told him I wanted a heart with “I love MOM”. I got the tattoo finished and woke up and went home. When I awoke I admired my new tat in the mirror and was shocked to find “I love WOW” on my arm. I showed it to my ‘friend’ Nok at the bar and she is very mad at me and wants to know who “Wow” is. She is looking for her. I think the answer is to change the name of Pattaya, which no one can pronounce, to WOW City. It is more descriptive and would get me out of trouble.

Singha Jerry

 

Dear Singha Jerry,

“Get you out of trouble”? Impossible, my sweet potato. Trouble is your middle name, and always has been. I will get one of the girls to tell your friend Nok that there is a Wow who has a bar in Jomtien. She should take along a video camera, the meeting could be interesting. You were certainly very lucky to find a friendly tattoo artist at 4 a.m., and ones that administer general anesthetics are even more rare. Or did you use several gallons of Singha beer as the anesthetic? Or was that as the alcohol swab to clean the skin before the ink was applied?

 

Dear Hillary,

Just a quickie. I want to send a girl I met last time I was up on holidays some money for her birthday just before Xmas later this year, but I’ve been told that it’s not too safe sending money by post. As I won’t be back in Thailand till around March/April next year, it is a bit late to bring it over myself. What’s your suggestion? The safer the better.

Jack

 

Dear Jack,

That is nice of you, but your little lady friend will soon tell you the best way, if you haven’t worked it out before Santa comes down the chimney. You don’t post it, you transfer it to her bank account, and she will have one, believe me! Posting is a no-no!