Happy gay days


Dear Hillary

My work colleagues have all decided that I am gay because I don’t live with anyone, while they all are living with a succession of local women, and I mean a succession.  Every week it’s another tale of woe and how they have been cleaned out.  Every week I thank my lucky stars that this is them not me.  But what beats me is they just go straight back into another relationship, which ends up just like the previous ones – a disaster.  They seem to think that I have something against women, while I don’t, but they keep on saying over and over, “Got a feller yet?”  I haven’t got anything against gays either, it’s just that I’m not one.  How do I get them to understand at work?


Dear Straight,

Jai yen yen!  Maintain a cool heart, Petal!  They are only keeping this up because you continue to rise to the bait.  When they get no reaction from you, they will eventually stop.  It may seem hard, but just a “Suit yourself,” response and nothing else will produce the desired result.  By the way, don’t comment on their relationships and they will give up commenting on your (lack of) relationships too.  You reap what you sow in this world.

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