How do I get my car back?

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Dear Hillary,

We split up and she’s taken the car, saying it’s hers. I bought the thing with my money, so I believe it’s mine. I wanted to just go and get it, as I have the spare key, but it is way away in Esarn, and my friends at the local who have been here for some years say leave it be. The saying is, “What’s mine is mine,” don’t you agree?

Rob

Dear Rob,

You are listening to all the wrong people. You don’t get the correct legal advice while sitting on a bar stool. The quotation might be right for the western world, but here it is more, “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.” This is a legal problem, my Petal, so be prepared for some legal fees, many months (and even years in some cases) and the car won’t be worth much by the end. In future, take out a leasing arrangement with her responsible for the monthly payments. If she skips, the finance company will chase her down.