Double trouble finding a good maid

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Dear Hillary,

I have a couple of girlfriends that I see regularly, but they don’t know about each other. By regularly, I mean once a week. I pay bar fine every time and I’m getting tired of it, as it is just a rip-off. The girls expect me to pay this, and pay them the next day as well. It is all getting expensive, and they don’t do a good job cleaning and tidying either. One of them said I should take her out of the bar and have her move in with me and then I don’t need to shell out each time. Would that sort of arrangement work? Should I tell them I am thinking of this? You must have come across this before. What’s my next move?

Jerry

Dear Jerry,

Next move? Have you tried Laos or Vietnam? You should not consider moving anybody in with you (of any sex) until you are older and less self-centered than you are now. By all means, get them together and here’s what will happen. “Noi, I’d like you to meet Nam. She comes Tuesdays, and Nam, this is Noi who comes Fridays.” Do you honestly think either of these girls will be delighted to know that you have two sort of maids and expensive bed mates? I would just hope that both of them refuse to go out with you in future, after cutting up your favorite shirts. There’s a basic honesty that you don’t know about, my Petal. Makes no difference what profession any girl works in. Honesty is needed, and you haven’t got it.