Disappearing letters

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Dear Hillary,

Have you come across a computer keyboard where the letters last longer than three months?  Looking at my board, the E, R, T, I, O, H, L, N and M have all worn off.  This means when I go to type THE, I often get YJW from the letters next door.  The sales people tell me it is because of my finger nails.  Do you have this problem too?

Keyboard Karyn

Dear Keyboard Karyn,

Fingernails?  You have got to be joking my Dear.  They work my poor little finger to the bone here.  I’ve only got stumps left.  No nails.