Deafness by degrees

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Dear Hillary,

Is everyone in Thailand deaf?  Any party you go to has giant boom boxes so loud you can’t hear the person next to you, but they all seem to like it that way.  That might also explain why my Thai GF never hears her phone when I ring her.  I usually have to ring at least five times before she picks up, and if she’s at a party (that’s any five females and a bottle of Saeng Som), then I can’t hear her either.  Stage shows are fronted with people shouting into the microphones and noisy sound effects.  Even kids’ parties have the MC shouting.  Perhaps that’s what makes them deaf by the time they are adults.  Why is it like this?

Deaf Don

Dear Deaf Don,

The noisiness of public address systems is to make sure that you really did hear it over the five females gossiping!  Have you also thought that perhaps your GF doesn’t want to talk to you while there’s still some Saeng Som left.  She hopes the phone will stop ringing soon so she can speak to the fortune teller to find when you will leave her the money.  Introduce her and her friends to a better alcohol, though you will be paying more than the local hooch.  You do realize, don’t you, Petal, that you are the one paying, not her.