Britannica Go-Go


Dear Hillary,

This week I visited my favorite chrome pole palace and my eyes almost popped out.  She was not your average dancer, she was in a class of her own, making the stage come alive as she moved, bumped and swayed through her bracket of songs.  I know nothing of her background but her foreground was mind boggling.  She has movie star looks with flawless skin, and a tall, lithe curvy body.  I bought her a drink and learned that she has never married, has no kids, and her parents are healthy and wealthy and don’t own a water buffalo.  She doesn’t smoke, drink or eat fried bugs and is not motivated by money.  Her only wish is to meet somebody who will be kind enough to teach her English so that she can read and study her set of Encyclopedia Britannica, and she’s chosen me.


Dear Jimbo,

Or is that Jumbo?  Or even more like it “Dumbo”.  You should stop smoking those cigarettes made from funny tomato plants.  Not only is it against the law, but it gives people delusions.  Come on now, English teachers do not go to chrome pole palaces to run English classes, even if the said go-go dancer is standing on the complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.  In the meantime, I have spoken to your doctor and he says to double the tablets immediately.