Brewers Droop?


Dear Hillary,

As I am now in my early 50’s it is becoming noticeable that my tummy is getting that little bit larger.  My wife even says it is very noticeable.  I have tried dieting but that just makes me hungry.  Is it worthwhile going to one of the gymnasiums round town, or do I have to give up drinking as my wife suggests?  I only have six to eight pints at night which I do not consider excessive as I used to drink even more than that.


Dear Kenny,

Or is that “Kilkenny”?  Looking carefully at your letter, since I can’t look carefully at you (and perhaps don’t want to!), I do think I might just perceive a very slight chance that you are just the teensiest bit worried that someone might go through with cutting off the pipeline to the brewery.  Hillary would never do that to you, Kenny, my old drinking mate!  You must remember me.  I’m the two people at the other end of the bar every night!  Come on, Kenny!  8 pints!  Is that all?  I don’t believe you.

OK, Kenny, I’ll pretend you really want to do something and here’s the answer.  Cut the pints in quarters (so that’s two a night), join a gym (the Fitness Centers are better at fat burning than the musclemen types of places), cut out sugar, drink more water (the kind that is without the sugar, yeast and hops and doesn’t come in green or brown bottles) and walk everywhere in town rather than driving, riding or catching taxis.

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