Bar girl doesn’t like Mom and Pop store work


Dear Hillary,

I thought I had met the woman of my dreams in Pattaya. Good English, attentive, attractive and a great personality. After a couple of business trips to Thailand we were getting along so well together that I decided I wanted to improve her situation and help her rise above the “bar” life. I bought her a little convenience store business but suddenly the next time I came over the welcome mat wasn’t there any longer. She was also closing the store early and going back to drink with her old friends at the bar. Even when I was in Pattaya, she would stay out till 2 in the morning drinking and roll home smelling of stale beer. There was no longer any pretense of being pleased to see me back – quite the opposite. I felt like an intruder in my own business when I would call in during the day. By now I have definitely got the feeling that I have been used. What do you think, Hillary? I have read similar tales before, but surely they are not all money grubbers?


Dear Edgar,

There are several items to consider, Petal. Did she ask to be elevated above her stool in the bar, or did you decide you wanted her for yourself and the best way was to get her out of the service girl work? Hillary thinks it was probably the latter case, wasn’t it! Now we all need friends, and your girl’s friends would obviously come from the bar environment too. They socialize at night and drink on after the customers have left. Buying her a shop doesn’t give her new friends – it just ties her down and makes being with her old friends even more important. Have you been “used”? In a way yes, but the person who deceived you was in reality yourself. You made her out to be more than she really was. After “a couple of business trips” you invested money in a business venture for a woman you didn’t really know. You should have stuck to being good friends. You would not have done this in your own country, so why “blame” all the bar girls in Pattaya by tarring them all with the same brush? They are not all money grubbers, but remember that at “bar” level you are not dealing with the elite of the society, either in this country, or in yours.