As it gets closer to Crissy (sic) time


Dear Hillary,

As it gets closer to Crissy (sic) time I notice the begging starting again for French champaine (sic) and Belgan (sic) chocolates.  Why don’t you just give up?  Nobody is going to send a 100 year old agony aunt champaine (sic) and chocolates and you should just learn to cop it sweet, Petal.  You’ll be buying your own again.  Even the Nairod guy has given you up.


Dear David,

Well aren’t you just the milk of human kindness.  And what’s this “Crissy time”?  It’s Christmas or Xmas, and about time you knew it and how to spell it.  Add to that, write out 100 times the correct spellings of “champagne” and “Belgian”.  As penance you can send me two bottles of the bubbly as well … but that would be far too much for you to carry on your own.  Being the time of goodwill, I shall ignore your nastiness, and just hope you have a better year in 2011 than you apparently had in 2010.  As far as Nairod is concerned, I believe he had a nervous breakdown after I advised him to sleep on Sukhumvit Road – in the center lane.