Another bottle of Grecian 2000 please


Dear Hillary,

I see a lot of girls in my local shopping center, and many are quite nice.  I see them resting on the seats.  I know you say we older farangs should stay away from the bars, but will I find Miss Right in the shopping center?  Or do I have to lie about my age (I’m a pensioner)?  What should I do?  I’m getting tired of being lonely.  Should I get my hair dyed?

Lonely Lenny


Dear Lonely Lenny,

What shower did you come down in, my lonely Petal?  Must have been the last one.  Will you find Miss Right waiting on the bench for you at the supermarket?  No Larry, you will only find Miss Take there.  Mistake if you talk to her and Miss Take all your money by the time you reach the checkout counter.  These are freelance girls who can disappear very easily and you will never find where she went or came from (other than Aisle B next to the hot dog counter).  They are more dangerous than the girls from the bars.  At least Hello Sexy Man bar will still be there tomorrow, and the mamasan knows the ID of her girls.  As far as getting your hair dyed – forget about it, my Petal.  It goes that charming color of ginger after two weeks.