Dear Hillary,
My Thai girlfriend is studying part-time at one of the colleges round here. I am very pleased to see her improving her knowledge with this education, as she never finished school. I believe many girls do this as they are forced to work to support the family. She would go one day a week, but now she tells me she has to go on a camp and get 75 hours of credit. This will mean she is away for three days. Is this so, Hillary? I wonder if it is just an excuse to get away for the three days? And on a more practical note, what about breakfast?
Jon

Dear Jon,
You are quite correct when you say that many Thai girls, especially those coming from the poorer regions, are expected to assist in the rice harvest, being considered more important than studying books. Congratulations on helping one of these girls get an education. Even though it sounds strange, these camps are commonplace, and are designed to get the class to work together in a neutral environment. You will find that many businesses do the same with their staff, where one section goes away for a couple of days or more, to be a team-building exercise. I don’t think it is an excuse, my Petal. Just accept it and find an early morning caf้ for breakfast! It’s only for three days, I’m sure you won’t starve to death in that time.

Dear Hillary,
I love you, Hillary. I think about you every day. I dream about what you might be wearing. How do we get together, even if just for a coffee to start with? Don’t let me down, I am sure we would get on well together.
Ethan

Dear Ethan,
I am sure too that we would get on well together, after all we have so much in common - I love myself too, I think about me every day, I dream about what I should be wearing, it’s a match made in heaven. Absolutely unbelievable! However Ethan, I think the age difference between us is just too great for all this to happen. Nobody of mature years writes to an Agony Aunt column with protestations of undying love. Never mind Ethan, I’m sure you will find a nice girlfriend in Mathayom 4, if you keep looking, and forget me.

Dear Hillary,
Can nothing be done about the song taew drivers? For a tourist city they give the place a bad name with their stand-over tactics and demands for fares much greater than should be the case. No wonder the foreign tourists look for taxis, but unless they have their wits about them they will again be quoted exorbitant fares, rather than using the meters. From what we thought was going to be a good idea, this has turned it into a nightmare. For a real fun time, try a tuk-tuk which will attempt to take you straight to the nearest jewelry shop that pays for their fuel. Until our city fathers meet the song taew monopoly head on and produce a real public transport system, this will always be a third world tourist destination.
“Where you go?”

Dear “Where you go?”
Unfortunately you are quite correct, my Petal. The song taews which do not have any fixed or marked destination will always be a turn-off for tourists, as the majority of the drivers do not speak another language. Why would you expect them to get on transport with unmarked destinations? Perhaps it is time for the TAT to get involved and issue ‘tourist bus’ licenses for drivers who meet a minimum standard in communication. Hillary has given up with the song taews, taxis and tuk-tuks, and uses motorcycle taxis when possible. They appear to be a friendlier bunch but will heed the “cha-cha” (slowly) instructions. You do have to barter first, but that’s part of the fun of living in the ‘third world’.

Dear Hillary,
This is a true story and I think everyone needs to know there is good and bad everywhere in the world. I get sick of all the moans and groans that come from all your writers and how they have been ripped off or left in the lurch by some Thai girl. Perhaps they should be more careful. I met a Thai lady when I was on holidays a couple of years back and she asked me for a loan of several thousand baht. I looked into her background and why she was in debt and how she was going to pay me back. She promised that she would give me all the money when I returned to Thailand six months later. I came back and guess what? She repaid me, plus interest that I didn’t ask for. I think a lot of the people who get ripped off ask for it.
Bill the Banker

Dear Bill,
As you correctly point out, there is good and bad everywhere. However, foreigners come here and forget all good business sense, such as how the girl is going to repay the loan just for starters. Checking one’s brain in at the immigration counter in Bangkok seems to be a very real situation. I often wonder if they remember to pick it up again when they leave.