Retro racers at Bira again this weekend

VW Retro racer.

The very healthy ‘Retro’ category is racing at the local Bira circuit this weekend. This group is for vehicles built before 1985, so there are all the cars you remember and grew up with. Henk Kiks Porsche 944 (B-Quik Racing) is one of the top runners in the Retro class, but is being challenged by Gavin Charlesworth in his BMW E30 (EBC Brakes) which has been fitted with a BMW 4.4 liter V8 and extra-wide mudguards to get enough rubber on the road to handle the V8 power.

Other BMWs racing include another wide-bodied E30 driven by Frank Teeuwen (B-Quik Racing / EBC Brakes) fitted with a 3 liter six cylinder M3 engine.

The BMW list continues with Peter Good E30 - 2.7 6 cyl M50 (EBC Brakes), Vinay E30 - 2.5 4 cyl M10 (Team EBC Brakes), Kaz E30 - 2.0 4 cyl M44 (B-Quik Racing) and hopefully K. Pong with his Gulf liveried E30 - 2.0 4 cyl M44 (Team Grilliku Gulf / EBC Brakes).

There are always plenty of Toyota DX models with Mark Titterington (Team Bungy Jump) fitted with a 2.4 liter Toyota delivering 250 BHP, and is another top of the field entry. New driver Richard with a red DX fitted with a supercharged Toyota 4AG ZE engine will be having his second meeting, but impressed last time out.

First lap traffic jam at Bira.

Cars of that era always include the Mk1 Ford Escorts, and currently top of that sub-group is my Securitas Mk 1 (with Nissan SR20 Turbo), closely followed by Ricardo Neri in another Nissan SR20 turbo engined Mk 1 and Malcolm Campbell in the Beams engined Mk 1.

The Team Waxy VW Beetle should also be running. This car has a 2.2 liter Porsche engine, a lightweight body and capable of humbling many of the cars running in the category.

There are races for other categories as well as everyone mixed in, and the BMW E36’s of Urs Schonenberger and Bobby Brooks are always threats to the other cars at the pointed end of the field.

These are always fun meetings, though the competition can be very fierce. Practice is on Friday June 1, Qualifying Saturday June 2 and Racing Sunday June 3. Racing generally starts around 10 a.m. though I do not have the timetable when writing this. The first events in the Sunday morning are car clubs, with the slightly more serious Retro cars from around noon.

And if you want to really make a picnic of it, join us in the AA Insurance Brokers / Sausage King hospitality tent on Sunday where we offer cold drinks, some shade, seats and a sausage sizzle courtesy of Barry Main, the Sausage King. The tent is on the outside of the hairpin at the end of the straight and has good views of the cars going through that corner and up the hill, then down the back through the difficult and dangerous sweeping right hander. To find us, come into the circuit via the back gate leading to the pits, about 200 meters on the left before approaching the main entrance off Highway 36 coming from the Sattahip end. Go through the tunnel under the track and then turn immediately hard right and follow the dirt road around the outside of the corner and up the incline and look for the red AA hospitality tent. Say the magic words “Securitas Mk1 Escort” and you’re in!

Have you read the instruction manual?

Never mind reading it, have you tried eating the instruction manual, and do you want some fries to go with that? If ever there was a pessimistic viewpoint on driving, it comes from the Land Rover people. Their Middle East ad agency has come up with what they think is a novel approach - an instruction manual/survival kit, with what to do when your Landy stops in the middle of the Arabian sand dunes. And when all else fails, you can eat it!

Land Rover Survival Guide.

But before you tuck into the survival book, it tells you how to build a shelter, whether you should just abandon the vehicle, how to catch disbelieving birds for dinner and how to light a fire and then use the spiral binding as a set of tongs.

The book is printed on potato-starch paper with a glycerine-based ink for a slightly sweet flavour. It is said to offer a nutritional value equivalent to a cheeseburger, but you will have to supply your own fries, I am afraid.

It was devised by the Land Rover’s Middle Eastern ad agency, Y&R Dubai who proudly said, “We researched every indigenous animal and plant people could encounter in the Arabian Desert and how they could be used to survive.”

The book was sent to 5000 existing customers, added as a supplement to the vehicle’s owner’s manual and made freely available in sports stores across the Middle East. The agency says Land Rover was so happy with the response it has requested the guide be inserted in a popular car magazine with a circulation of 70,000 readers. But will 70,000 readers want to buy a car which even the manufacturer admits may break down in the middle of the desert?

Honda unveils UNI-CUB personal mobility device

Honda Motor Co., Ltd. has unveiled the new UNI-CUB, a personal mobility device designed for use by individuals and within public spaces.

Honda UNI-CUB.

Representing an evolution of the U3-X personal mobility concept device that Honda announced in 2009, the UNI-CUB features a compact design with comfortable saddle and offers the same freedom of movement in all directions that a person enjoys while walking. This is achievable by Honda’s development of proprietary balance control technology and the world’s first omni-directional driving wheel system (Honda Omni Traction Drive System) - inspired by robotic technologies developed for Asimo, Honda’s world-famous humanoid robot.

These technologies allow the rider to control speed, move in any direction, turn and stop, all simply by shifting his or her weight. Since the rider can freely move forward, backward, side-to-side and diagonally, he or she can quickly and easily manoeuver among other people.

According to Honda, UNI-CUB’s compact saddle-style packaging makes it easy for the rider’s legs to reach the ground while maintaining eye-level height with other pedestrians. This configuration promotes harmony between the rider and others, letting the rider travel freely and comfortably inside facilities and among moving people.

Going forward, Honda will continue its proactive research and development of next-generation mobility technologies, with the aim of continually looking for innovative yet practical ways to offer society and individuals the joy, fun and convenience that comes from the freedom of movement.

In real terms, this device is like the Segway, but you sit on it, rather than stand up on it. Moving the center of gravity dictates the direction of travel. Only problem with this device in Thailand, is that you can’t get five on it, though I am sure they could get three!

What did we learn from the Monaco Grand Prix?

For all those people who like to go to parades, they will have loved the Monaco GP. It was a boring procession, as all drivers spent the race conserving tyres, rather than ‘racing’, and all passing (the very little of it) was done by the respective pit crews, of which, McLaren was notably very slow.

However, back to the parade, sorry race. Mark Webber did the job for Red Bull, keeping the pace down and saving his tyres. With Monaco being a circuit where it is almost impossible to pass, all Webber had to do was secure first position at the start to make it difficult for those behind. Amazingly, Webber did get the hole shot, instead of his usual reverse gear starts, and kept his head and the victory was his.

Webber’s top step on the podium was assisted by the fact that Nico Rosberg in the Mercedes is not one of the desperados, so was happy enough to stay in second place right to the end.

Another display of solid parade laps by Alonso in the Ferrari and he was rewarded with third and now also leads the WDC. A better result for team mate Massa finishing sixth. The axe has stopped in mid-swing? Let us see how Felipe goes in the next GP in Canada.

Seb (the finger) Vettel had a lackluster qualifying, trying to get an extra set of tyres reserved for the race. It didn’t work, and holding up four fingers at the end does not have the impact of the solitary digit. However, he is still only three points from the lead in the WDC, and equal with Webber. Do not discount him.

Romain Grosjean (“Lotus”) is turning out to be a bit of a loose cannon and once again was in the thick of a first corner melee. “We struggled to get off the line and it looked like Lewis (Hamilton) in front didn’t have the best start either. Fernando (Alonso) pulled alongside him so I was then on the outside of both cars, and unfortunately Michael (Schumacher) was on the outside of me as well. There just wasn’t enough room and next thing I’m facing all the traffic after just one hundred meters which wasn’t a nice feeling.” I am sure it wasn’t a “nice feeling” Romain, but bouncing off Alonso and then Schumacher was the result of your attempting to drive through a gap that wasn’t there (other than in your imagination).

Team mate Kimi Raikkonen did not impress, being a mobile chicane for most of the race. “I had some difficulties during the race so it’s not been the easiest weekend.” Perhaps his ice cream melted?

Mention must be made of Pastor Maldonado. Previous week’s hero and this week’s zero. Did his win in Spain go to his head and he decided he was invincible? Two separate grid penalties after qualifying and then bending the car (again) at the start. Fortunately he arrived at the Williams team pushing a gigantic wheelbarrow of money, so his seat is secure.

The final words are from Team Poppadum with Paul Di Resta saying, “The secret was managing the tyres,” and his team mate Nico Hulkenberg saying, “The rest of the race was quite uneventful and I just focused on looking after the tyres.” Yawn.

Unfortunately, “managing the tyres” does not have spectator appeal for the true enthusiasts. Sure the cars ran nose to tail, as one would expect in any parade, but that is not “racing”, and the much vaunted DRS zone did not work at all. Let us hope Canada is a better race.

Autotrivia Quiz

Last week I asked what is the connection between a famous perfumery and Reliant cars in the UK? Ogle built a privately commissioned car for Boris Forter, managing director of the Helena Rubenstein Company (UK). Reliant bought the Ogle design and it became the Reliant Scimitar.

So to this week. What is the visual connection between Bologna sausage and Maserati?

For the Automania free beer this week, be the first correct answer to email [email protected]