I must say that even after many years in my profession, I still experience
excitement about how courageous and determined some people can be in utilizing
counseling or psychotherapy to improve their lives. I am particularly happy if
it is possible for me to help children and teenagers (because they have their
whole lives ahead of them and if they can get over the obstacles that prevent
their lives from being happy, it is just great) or people past their midlife.
Why’s that? It is because in our society, ‘older’ people have the image of not
being able to change anymore. Aging is looked down upon by many who take the
position that turning 30 is already bad enough, but that life can only get worse
once we get beyond our 40s or 50s.
The concept of life being over at 30 is not true at all and
Pattaya is quite a good place to observe that. While the majority of expats who
live here follow a hedonistic and indulgent lifestyle, one can increasingly find
individuals out there who look great for their age and participate in various
activities that help them keep their body in shape and do everything necessary
to stay happy for a long time.
Often enough though, such an attitude was induced by major
shock events like heart attacks, sexual dysfunction or other diseases. But
sometimes it also comes out of a realization that in the end, it is our body and
our psyche that set restrictions we can’t really ignore: if our body turns sick
or limits the ways we can live our lives or if our psyche sets such limits,
there is only one way left that might eventually stop the downwards spiral,
whatever our tendency to look away might be, and that is to change our
lifestyle, ideally with some help and support, to get ‘kick started’ as quickly
as possible.
I have met people who stopped smoking, drinking (imagine
that, in Pattaya, the city of ‘Draft Happy Hours!) or other kinds of drug abuse,
people who got their body in shape even after decades of being obese, 70 year
old men who could awaken their sexual drive again, and older couples who had to
come to Pattaya to find out that with just a little support they could fix their
marriage.
For some, such U-turns might come too late, but for others
they are the first steps to a new life. I’d like to end this piece with a nice
quote from American writer Helen H. Santmyer (1895-1986): “Time - our youth - it
never really goes, does it? It is all held in our minds.”
|
Live the happy life you planned! Richard L.
Fellner is head of the Pattaya Counseling Center in Soi Khopai and
offers consultations in English and German languages (after making
appointments at 0854 370 470). |
