Dear
Hillary,
Bit of daft advice that one Hills, keeping the crash helmet in the shopping
basket at front of the bike, this blocks off the headlight from oncoming
traffic, I get peed off nearly crashing into motor bikes because I can’t see
them coming because they have no front light, only to see as they pass that they
do have lights but they are completely obscured by bags of shopping. Most of us
have had M/C accidents here, I broke several bones by driving into a large
pothole, thought I was superman taking off, but I was wearing a good helmet so
head ok. Now I drive a car.
Mr. John
Dear Mr. John,
Can’t you see I was being sarcastic when I wrote, “Thailand is very hot and
helmets are hot to wear, so the best place for the helmet is in the wire basket
up front.” Goodness me, my Petal, do I have to write (humor, 5555) after
statements like that? (And for those overseas, the number 5 is spoken as “ha”,
so 5555 is Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!) And despite the obscured headlights on others, you
managed to have an accident all on your own when you did not see a pothole. The
biter bit, I believe is the phrase. Anyway, I am glad to hear you are back to
your observant self, and stay away from motorcycles!
Dear Hillary,
I think I have timed this right to wish you a Good New Year. Thank you for all
the fun and tongue in cheek replies, especially to some of the more stupid
questions you get. I don’t know why you don’t just tear them up (or is it hit
the “delete” button these days)? Anyway, have a safe and happy new year.
Eddie and the boys in the Gulf
Dear Eddie and the boys in the Gulf,
Thank you for making my Friday, Petals, and yes you timed it perfectly to get
into the last edition for 2011. It went so quickly. Did you find it the same?
Shame that you have to spend the New Year’s Eve on a rig, but think of the money
you’ll get, and the headaches you won’t get.
Dear Hillary,
Ever since my wife found Facebook this year, she spends hours and hours and
hours glued to the computer screen. She says she has to reply to friends and
last time I looked she had 3,985 “friends”. That’s impossible, she hasn’t met
3,985 people in her life. She’s only 30 and that makes it about 140 a day.
Friends are people you go down the pub with, not people you’ve never met who bob
up in a computer. How do I get her to stop this nonsense?
Frank
Dear Frank,
I’m sorry to say but there is nothing you can do about it, other than forgetting
to pay the electricity bill! Facebook is very popular and it allows people to
communicate with other “friends” all over the world. I understand what you mean
about “friends”, but you just have to get used to a different meaning of the
word these days. Mind you, I get the feeling that your nose might be a little
out of joint - are you feeling left out? Get yourself a Facebook identity and
secretly correspond with your wife. You never know what you might find!
Dear Hillary,
Year after year, I see and hear many lonely, ignorant, old, fools complaining
about Pattaya’s bar girls and freelancers. But can you really blame them? Can
you imagine yourself shaking (sic) up (shaking or shacking, I wonder?)
with someone who is 15, 30 or 50 years older than you are and expect to be
happy? What do they expect? Thai girls, well as all girls in the world want to
be with someone their own age and not someone who can be their father’s or
grandfather’s age.
Thailand and especially Pattaya attracts some of the worst
quality tourists and expatriates in the world. We are talking about, etc.
Albeit, we do have some good “dirty-old-men” here who treat these girls and
women nicely and gets along fine.
So stop whining. We have a good thing going here and enjoy
Thailand while it’s still affordable.
Happy Camper
Dear Happy Camper,
Oooh, I must meet your friends! Are all of them alcoholics, druggies, perverts,
pedophiles, psychos, delinquents, criminals, crooks, losers and loners? No
wonder you have such an attitude. I would too, surrounded by all that lot!
However, getting back to your letter, I wonder if it should have been “shacking
up” rather than “shaking up”? Although I suppose they can almost be the same
thing! In actual fact, the old adage is very pertinent here, “You get what you
pay for!” So if your motley lot are happy to pay for the pleasures, knowing
there is no permanence being offered, then let them continue, and ignore their
complaints. By the way, not all the farangs in Pattaya are “alcoholics,
druggies, perverts, pedophiles, psychos, delinquents, criminals, crooks, losers
and loners”. I met a very nice chap the other evening. I just can’t remember his
name!