Dear Hillary,
One of the chaps at work I look on as a friend, as he’s from the UK like me. We used to laugh and joke together and we could slap each other on the shoulder, but that’s as physical as it got. Last week he suggested we “go somewhere” at lunchtime, so I thought he meant to local food stall or something like that. Comes Tuesday and he says “OK, lets go somewhere this lunchtime.” I pressed him for where and he told me he wanted us to go to a short-time hotel! I didn’t know what to say and said that it wasn’t a good time and I had too much work to do. Since then he asks every day when are we going, and I am getting confused as what to do next. I don’t know why he thinks I want an M-M experience, I’m not that way inclined. I don’t want to give up the job, as I like working there (or I used to). Can I just tell him that I’m not interested, or will that make him angry? He is in charge of my section. Is he strange or something?
Worried (I don’t want to give my real name if you don’t mind),

Dear Worried,
That’s fine about your real name, I don’t need to know your name anyway. Your supervisor has obviously taken your slaps on the shoulder as a physical ‘come-on’, which you have innocently done in return for his physical gestures. All you can do is to say to him that it’s not your scene, and leave it at that. You don’t have to make up excuses, as if you do, he’ll try and counter them. There’s all kinds of different people in this world, so don’t imagine that he’s strange - he’s just different from you.

Dear Hillary,
My Thai GF and I get on just fine. We’ve known each other for 18 months, and every time I come over which is usually a couple of times a year, it is just great. She is starting to make marriage noises and takes me round to all her GFs who’ve got foreign husbands, to show me that it can work, I’m sure. The thing that worries me most is this dowry thing. I don’t have much money (I use most of my salary traveling backwards and forwards to Thailand) and even though I’m happy enough for us to get married, I don’t want this to mean I get hit with a big bill. Is this still a big deal in Thailand? I keep on wanting to ask some of the foreign husbands if they have paid it, but I don’t want to look stupid in front of them.
Bill

Dear Bill,
I don’t think you’ve thought this through, my Petal. If you get married, where are you going to live? There or here? I read your letter as one situation where you continue to commute between here and your home town, but instead of her being a GF, she gets upgraded to “wife”. Personally, Bill, I don’t think you are ready for a true commitment right now, and I suggest you just keep the status quo. If she is happy to be your GF a couple of times a year, then fine, but if she wants something more permanent, you may have to let her go. However, if you do go ahead with your plans (or her plans I think), you should sit down and discuss your finances with your GF, so that she doesn’t get a rude shock either. She will soon tell you how much would be expected as a dowry, but remember every case is different. A divorced woman with two children would not expect a dowry, but a young woman with a university degree and no children would be very different.

Dear Hillary,
This week I visited my favorite chrome pole palace and my eyes almost popped out. She was not your average dancer, she was in a class of her own, making the stage come alive as she moved, bumped and swayed through her bracket of songs. I know nothing of her background but her foreground was mind boggling. She has movie star looks with flawless skin, and a tall, lithe curvy body. I bought her a drink and learned that she has never married, has no kids, and her parents are healthy and wealthy and don’t own a water buffalo. She doesn’t smoke, drink or eat fried bugs and is not motivated by money. Her only wish is to meet somebody who will be kind enough to teach her English so that she can read and study her set of Encyclopedia Britannica, and she’s chosen me.
Jimbo

Dear Jimbo,
Or is that Jumbo? Or even more like it “Dumbo”. You should stop smoking those cigarettes made from funny tomato plants. Not only is it against the law, but it gives people delusions. Come on now, English teachers do not go to chrome pole palaces to run English classes, even if the said go-go dancer is standing on the complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. In the meantime, I have spoken to your doctor and he says to double the tablets immediately.