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Money matters
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Snap Shots
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Modern Medicine
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Heart to Heart with Hillary
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Let’s go to the movies
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Money matters:
Graham Macdonald MBMG International Ltd.
Money - How Much is it Worth?
Part 1
There was a joke going round recently that a
sheet of Andrex toilet paper was actually worth more than a one billion
Zimbabwean dollar note. Not surprising really when you consider what Mugabe has
done to the country. However, he is not the first man to make a complete mess of
his country’s currency.
Let us have a look at the history of paper money. We could go back to the time
of the Sumerians who used salt as money, but that would be tactless as it could
be said it is worth more than the US Dollar. The news is not good for the
American currency though. If you go back to Roman times, any fiat currency fails
in the end. However, it does not just stop there. Not only is there devaluation
but also the economy eventually fails as well.
There are good examples of this. Although it is true to say that the Romans did
not actually have a paper currency, the similarities are there for all to see.
When Augustus was emperor the Denarius was basically 100% silver, once Nero got
hold of it just over fifty years later, it was down to 94%. By the turn of the
century Trajan has reduced it to 85%. There were so many emperors in 218 that
they are too numerous to mention here but it was now down to less than 44% and
by the time of Emperor Philip the Arab, the amount of silver was 0.05%. When
Western Rome collapsed there was practically no silver at all and nobody used
the Denarius any more for buying anything.
The first country that actually used paper money was China. This was because
there was a shortage of copper which is what was used for coins. Thus the
Chinese then switched to iron for its coinage but made too many which meant they
fell in value. So, the banks issued paper money for the iron coins. This could
also be used to buy gold or silver. Unfortunately, though, China was fighting an
ongoing war against that lovely chap Genghis Khan which meant that inflation was
on the up and up. As we know, the Chinese did not win the war against Genghis
who carried on westwards defeating everything that stood in front of him.
However, his grandson, Kublai Khan, did rule China and actually united it.
Kublai Khan did not understand paper money to start with but did in the end and
created, in essence, a fiat currency. In fact, Marco Polo went on to say, “You
might say that [Kublai] has the secret of alchemy in perfection … the Khan
causes every year to be made such a vast quantity of this money, which costs him
nothing, that it must equal in amount all the treasure of the world.”
Polo carried on, “This was the most brilliant period in the history of China.
Kublai Khan, after subduing and uniting the whole country and adding Burma,
Cochin China, and Tonkin to the empire, entered upon a series of internal
improvements and civil reforms, which raised the country he had conquered to the
highest rank of civilization, power, and progress.”
Marco Polo concluded, “Population and trade had greatly increased, but the
emissions of paper notes were suffered to largely outrun both … All the
beneficial effects of a currency that is allowed to expand with a growth of
population and trade were now turned into those evil effects that flow from a
currency emitted in excess of such growth. These effects were not slow to
develop themselves … The best families in the empire were ruined, a new set of
men came into the control of public affairs, and the country became the scene of
internecine warfare and confusion.”
Please remember that this is over seven hundred years ago. Evidence, indeed,
that economic growth has always been cyclical.
It does make you think though. Could Keynes have read Marco Polo’s thoughts
about Chinese fiat currencies when he said the U.S. government should just bury
bottles full of money in old mine shafts to spur economic growth?
The Spanish were the next big country to have an empire but being the practical
people they are they just used gold as their fiat currency. This then brings us
to the French. Unfortunately, the French have been about as successful at
running a fiat currency as they have at defending their eastern borders in the
20th Century.
John Law introduced paper money into France. He was helped greatly by the fact
that Louis XIV died having left over three billion Livres worth of debt. Louis
was never brilliant with money. He decreed that all taxes should be paid in
paper money. This was okay as the currency was supported by coinage but then the
people decided they would prefer coins as, after a while, there was too much
paper money in the system and nobody wanted it any more.
The French panicked and made it illegal to export any gold or silver. The
government put their foot down and refused to allow the peasants to swap their
paper money for coinage. Thus, the currency collapsed.
Having failed the first time, the French thought they would give it another go
at the end of the 18th Century. This time the paper money went by the name of
Assignats. By 1795, inflation was at 13,000% (and you thought De Gaulle was
bad!). Napoleon, being Corsican, had a certain amount of common sense and
introduced the gold Franc as he realized that gold is a stable currency. Having
met their Waterloo in 1815, the French left it until the 1930s to try again.
This time it was the paper franc. It took them just over a decade to cock things
up again, for this time the currency lost 99% of its value. Admittedly, they did
have that pesky problem with their Eastern border again in 1939 but it is still
quite impressive.
To be continued…
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The above data and research was compiled from sources
believed to be reliable. However, neither MBMG International Ltd nor its
officers can accept any liability for any errors or omissions in the above
article nor bear any responsibility for any losses achieved as a result of any
actions taken or not taken as a consequence of reading the above article. For
more information please contact Graham Macdonald on
[email protected]@mbmg-international.com.comm.com.com
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Snap Shots: by Harry Flashman
Photography
for restaurateurs
 Ask
food and wine critics about menus. What is the best style? Menus that
have photographs in them. It is all very well having ‘vol au vent’ on
the menu, but if the diner doesn’t know what it is, he is not going to
order it. Additionally, with international clientele, where English may
not be their language, only a photograph can tell them what is on your
menu.
However, there are some problems associated with food photography, and
that is why food photographers are some of the highest paid professional
photographers.
There are many reasons for this, but if the final photograph does not
make the food look appetizing, the diner isn’t going to order it anyway
- and will probably go somewhere else to eat next time.
In the pro photography field, any old bangers and mash just will not do.
When selected to shoot food, it was expected by the art director that I
would employ a food stylist. This person knows how to prepare the item,
so that it “looks” good. This does not mean that it “tastes” good. And
yes, I know this is ‘photo-fraud’, and in the US there is legislation to
try and counteract this problem - but it isn’t here!
And so to food photography. This is actually one area where there are
more fraudulent practices than any other. Cold food can be made to look
hot by sprinkling chips of dry ice to give “steam” coming off the dish.
Not palatable, but it looks OK. Cooking oil gets brushed on slices of
the cold meat so that they look moist and succulent. A few light strokes
with pale red watercolor makes meat look tender. And it doesn’t taste
good!
That is just for starters. In the commercial photography studio, the
dedicated food photographer would erect a “light tent” of white
polystyrene and bounce electronic flash inside. Brightness is necessary
to stop the food looking grey and dull. If you want a “warm” look to the
food, then you can use internal reflector tungsten bulbs as well, but be
warned, that if you use the tungsten light as the sole source the food
will turn out very orange. Lighting is just so important. If you do not
have bright sparkly light then potatoes will look grey, and even the
china plates look drab and dirty.
Going back to places such as the USA, there are very firm rules about
photographing food, you are not allowed to use substitute materials
which “look” like food, but are actually not. This covers the old trick
of using shaving cream as the “cream” on top of cappuccino coffee for
example, or polystyrene foam as “ice cream”. Personally I think this is
a load of ballyhoo, because the photograph is just to represent what the
food will look like - you don’t eat a photograph, now do you!
“Some wine with your meal, sir?” I’m sorry, but a photograph of the
bottle does not really do the contents of the bottle much of a favor.
Let’s look at a few examples where the photographer has to stretch the
truth somewhat. Ever tried photographing champagne? There’s never enough
bubbles to keep art directors happy, so you drop some sugar into the
glass. Only a few grains are enough to give the almost still glass of
champers that “just opened” fizz look to it. You also have to bring the
light in from the back of the glass, as well as from the front. This
takes two flash heads, or at least one head and a reflector, before you
attack the prosecco with a sugar stick.
While still on wines, if you try and shoot a bottle of red wine, it
comes out thick dark maroon or even black. Restaurateurs who have tried
photographing their wines will agree. So what does the pro shooter do?
Well he has a couple of courses of action. First is to dilute the red
wine by about 50 percent and secondly place a silver foil reflector on
the back of the bottle. So what happens to the half bottle of red that
was removed to dilute the wine? The photographer has it with dinner.
Modern Medicine:
by Dr. Iain Corness, Consultant
Another bloody pain in the bottom
I was contacted at the hospital by one of my racing mates
rather worried after finding he was passing blood after going to stool. This
symptom had only just made itself evident and I was pleased that he had not
left it until it became a large problem, rather than a small one.
I asked, “Do you have any pain with the bleeding?” That’s what I mean when I
wrote the headline, “another bloody pain in the bottom”. Embarrassing, but
generally a minor problem, usually known as “piles”.
Piles are one of the most common ailments around. The medical term for piles
is haemorrhoids (hemorrhoids if you come from the left hand side of the
Atlantic), which shows why we don’t commonly use that name - too long and
too hard to spell! I have often said that the reason that the medical course
is six years is that it takes five years to learn how to spell the long
words, but then, I’m joking of course.
So just what are piles and do you get them from sitting on wet grass, as the
old wives will tell you? Let’s deal with the grass first. You do not get
piles from sitting on anything, be it grass, newly mown or otherwise. End of
the grass story. Piles are put simply ‘varicose veins’ of the anus. You see,
around the edge of the anus there is a very rich plexus of blood vessels and
it is possible for the veins to become distended and eventually form a
grape-like structure that can even protrude from the anus itself. This is a
classical “pile”.
The biggest problem with haemorrhoids is acute bleeding. Embarrassing as
mentioned before, but can actually be such as to run you out of iron and you
end up anemic. Other symptoms include local soiling and discomfort. You can
also get a thrombosis in one of these protruding piles that can be very
painful indeed. Ask anyone who has ever had one (or two).
There are lots of theories as to why we get haemorrhoids. Many women feel
that they are the result of pregnancy or straining during childbirth, but
since men get them as well that would appear to shoot that theory down in
flames. Both sexes can get piles. A lack of dietary fiber has also been
given the nod as a cause, but personally I am not convinced, as many people
with great fiber diets still get piles. Constipation and straining at toilet
does appear to have a bearing (as in bearing down in pregnancy?), but I
honestly feel that the real reason relates very simply to our stage of
development in the history of mankind.
My theory (Darwinian, I admit) is as follows - we used to walk on all fours,
like all the other quadrupeds. Look at our first cousins, the monkeys, and
they are still wandering around with knuckles in the dirt (and I have met
some people that still do this), but many moons ago after seeing our
reflections, we decided we looked better standing on our hind legs, so we
learned to walk erect. This was fine, other than the fact that the valves in
the veins in our legs and ano-rectal region were not up to the additional
pressure the column of blood was exerting from the heart, now a meter or so
higher than the valves. Straight out hydrodynamics, resulting in varicose
veins and piles.
Fortunately piles are relatively easy to fix, and the common rubber-banding
technique will be successful for most. The only real danger in this
condition is in ignoring the bleeding, thinking, “It’s only piles.” As
mentioned before, this bleeding can lead to anemia, but the biggest problem
can be the fact that rectal bleeding might just be a symptom of something
more sinister, such as cancer, and not haemorrhoids, and it is possible to
have both complaints at the same time.
The answer is to never ignore bleeding (from any cause) and get your doctor
to check. It may be embarrassing - but it could be life saving.
Heart to Heart with Hillary
Hillary,
Don’t fool yourself, you’re not as smart as you think. Your column consists of
mainly regurgitated garbage of no benefit to anyone, your advice is useless, and
at best it’s just light comic relief. You have a poor idea of where people are
coming from with their comments and opinions, so your responses are fodder.
Lessen your out-sized ego and you might be able to provide advice that can make
a difference for people. Your problem is you think you are real, and that what
you are doing has some purpose. You poor, deluded, ignorant thing, you probably
think this is real too. Let’s see if you are game enough to reply to this one,
and thereby display your pettiness again.
Mr Magoo scoffs at Hillary the dunce
Dear Magoo,
Since my column, according to you, “consists of mainly regurgitated garbage of
no benefit to anyone” I wonder why you continue to read it and indeed have
chosen to write in again? You obviously get some sort of satisfaction by being
abusive, finally calling me a “poor, deluded, ignorant thing”. That kind of
behavior says much about you as a person, real or otherwise. Enroll somewhere in
an anger management course, Petal.
Dear Hillary,
You will be delighted and relieved to know that Pater has recovered from his
erectile gross function! He is no longer up for an extended fugue but can
certainly still manage a sparkling toccata!
Mistersingha
Dear Mistersingha,
What with your email after Magoo’s I think I am succumbing to an extreme form of
masochism, and always remember, a sadist is someone who is nice to a masochist!
Please go away.
Dear Hillary,
Can nothing be done about the song taew drivers? For a tourist city they give
the place a bad name with their stand-over tactics and demands for fares much
greater than should be the case. No wonder the foreign tourists look for taxis,
but unless they have their wits about them they will again be quoted exorbitant
fares, rather than using the meters. For a real fun time in Bangkok or Chiang
Mai, try a tuk-tuk which will attempt to take you straight to the nearest
jewelry shop that pays for their fuel. Until our respective city fathers meet
the song taew monopoly head on and produce a real public transport system, this
will always be a third world tourist destination. Of course that is if there are
any tourists left!
“Where you go?”
Dear “Where you go?”
Unfortunately you are quite correct, my Petal. The song taews which do not have
any fixed or marked destination will always be a turn-off for tourists, as the
majority of the drivers also do not speak another language (other than Laos).
Why would you expect them to get on transport with unmarked destinations?
Perhaps it is time for the TAT to get involved and issue ‘tourist bus’ licenses
for drivers who meet a minimum standard in communication. Hillary has given up
with the song taews, taxis and tuk-tuks, and uses motorcycle taxis when possible
(still none in Chiang Mai). They appear to be a friendlier bunch and will heed
the “cha-cha” (slowly) instructions. You do have to barter first, but that’s
part of the fun of living in the ‘third world’.
Dear Hillary,
There is a young woman who works in an office I go into regularly. She seemed a
nice enough sort of gal, so I asked her out to a party. Since then, I have taken
her out to the movies a couple of times, and that was OK too. This relationship
has been above board at all times (I am just getting over a divorce in my home
country and don’t need hassles right now). I thought this was OK and she was
happy just to have a little company now and again, but now she has been ringing
me up to say that she cannot stay in her unit because they are a) repairing it
or b) painting it, or c) her friends have come for a visit and the young baby
will keep her awake or now the builders are in the street and she cannot get any
rest because they start work so early. Each time this means that she comes over
to my unit after she finishes work (she only works half days) and then sleeps
over. So far I have put her in the second bedroom, but I can see this will not
last. What advice have you got for me?
Bed and Breakfast Bill
Dear Bed and Breakfast Bill,
You are becoming “Bed, Boompsie and breakfast Bill”, my Petal, if you have not
cottoned on to this already. Or then again, I may be wrong and perhaps she just
has an interest in hydrodynamics and wants to inspect your plumbing. I am
concerned that your house is in need of repairs too, especially since you are
worried that your second bedroom “will not last”. Hillary suggests you get the
builders in and repair and redecorate it, and following that get them to go and
repair and redecorate hers. This will be the cheapest way out of this
predicament in the long run. And don’t answer your phone. You have been warned!
Let’s go to the movies:
by Mark Gernpy
Now playing in
Pattaya
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: US, Action/ Adventure/
Sci-Fi. It’s Autobots® versus Decepticons®, Round 2, in Michael Bay’s
film based on Hasbro’s Transformers™ action figures. It’s all about
trade names and merchandising! Might not make a lot of difference to
you, but the Transformers™ toys have a huge following and a rabid fan
base. The plot: Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) again joins with the
Autobots® against their sworn enemies, the Decepticons®.
It’s super-intense, and
bigger and longer than the original. High noise level, smashing images,
a loud and relentless score, everyone yelling their lines at high speed
– if this is your idea of fun, go.
Up: US
(Disney/Pixar), Animation/ Family – Everyone’s current favorite, tops at
the US boxoffice, and the most loved film of the year so far! An
animated fantasy adventure about a 78-year-old balloon salesman (voiced
by Ed Asner) who finally fulfills his lifelong dream of a great
adventure when he ties thousands of balloons to his house and flies away
to the wilds of South America. But his biggest nightmare has secretly
stowed away on the trip: 8-year-old Russell. Also starring Christopher
Plummer, and a speech-assisted dog. Another masterful work of art from
Pixar – an exciting, hilarious, and heartfelt adventure, impeccably
crafted and told with wit and depth. Reviews: Universal acclaim.
And Up has a
cartoon playing before it, called Partly Cloudy, a 6-minute Pixar
study of cartoon genius which reminds me somewhat of the stork sequence
at the beginning of Walt Disney’s Dumbo. Not too much has been
made of this very funny short, but for my money it is pure brilliance.
Drag Me to Hell:
US, Horror/ Thriller – Terrific! Director Sam Raimi is in outstanding
B-movie form. Get into your horror-film frame of mind, and go for a lot
of laughs and chills. Alison Lohman stars as a loan officer who becomes
the victim of a curse, with evil spirits on her trail and certain
damnation in her future – unless she can break the spell. The film is a
wickedly good time: blood-curdlingly scary and ghoulishly funny, it’s
also taut and timely. The best-reviewed horror film in years. Reviews:
Universal acclaim.
Pee-Toom-Tim / Phee
Tum Tim: Thai, Comedy – A goalkeeper on a Thai football team cracks
his head on a goal post and dies. But wait, that’s just the beginning!
Somehow his body is possessed by the spirit of a transsexual who has a
burning desire to see the Thai football team make it to the World Cup.
Dek Khong: Thai,
Comedy/ Drama – The “King Kong Gang” is a powerful and invincible gang
that rules and terrorizes all the kids in the kindergarten, led by a boy
of such immense size that a high-school girl who thinks he’s in high
school falls for him, rendering him incapable of leading his gang.
Roommate: Thai,
Romance/ Drama – About three young females and two young males who live
together and play together in a rock band named Roommate. Sequences of
the band’s music are included as well. (In Thai only/ no English
subtitles.)
Terminator Salvation:
The Future Begins: US/ UK, Action/ Sci-Fi – Primarily for action
junkies and gamers. In this fourth installment of The Terminator
film franchise, set in post-apocalyptic 2018, Christian Bale stars as a
man fated to lead the human resistance against Skynet and its army of
Terminators. If you’ve seen any of the other three installments of this
series, you know what to expect: Plenty of chases, explosions, and great
effects. Mixed or average reviews.
Night at the Museum
2: Escape From the Smithsonian: USA/ Canada, Action/ Comedy – If
you liked the first adventure, you’re sure to like this one even more –
bigger, better, and with fantastic special effects. First it was the
New York Museum of Natural History, now it’s the Smithsonian, after some
of Ben Stiller’s resurrected friends were shipped to Washington for
storage. He finds himself in the middle of a vast conflict between many
of the museum’s most noteworthy historical figures, so in part it’s a
mild history lesson, mixed in with the foolishness. Mixed or average
reviews.
Angels & Demons:
US, Crime/ Drama/ Mystery/ Thriller – A tight, taut thriller. The team
behind the global phenomenon The Da Vinci Code returns in this
well done follow-up. Tom Hanks reprises his role as Harvard symbologist
Robert Langdon, who once again finds that forces with ancient roots are
willing to stop at nothing, even murder, to advance their goals. Ron
Howard again directs. The film has been written as a sequel to follow
after events in The Da Vinci Code. Mixed or average reviews.
Blood: The Last
Vampire: Hong Kong/ Japan, Action/ Horror – A thoroughly disgusting
mess of violence and killing. Skip it! Rated R in the US for
strong bloody stylized violence. In English, mostly.
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