Pattaya Oddities

Off-Road Anglebox

There are certainly some oddball machines around Pattaya these days. How many of you have seen this Ford Anglebox van? It is in a car yard along Sukhumvit Road, just before Pattaya Klang, with a For Sale sign. Sitting about one metre off the deck, the tail shaft comes down at such an acute angle, I reckon it would do about four revolutions before the universal joint said “Enough!” I think it still has the venerable 105E Ford engine up front, well known for its ability to almost pull the skin off rice puddings. At least you would be able to hurdle the packs of Thai dogs that attempt to throw themselves under the wheels of passing motorists every day. A case of “My Karma ran over your Dogma” I suppose.

The two wheeled brigade also have their oddities.

Spotted this delightful number on 3rd Road. The extended forks and wrought iron handlebars remind me of something Heath Robinson would have loved. However, I am sure Mick Doohan would not have. I reckon it would have a 30 metre turning circle.

Is this a Chinese Chopper?

In the same shop they had a 3 wheeled trike, with a VW engine installed in the blunt end complete with “wheelie bars” and extended forks at the sharp end. The exhaust pipes ended up in 4 smaller pipes, making for 16 exhausts from the old flat four. 160,000 baht was the asking price. They also have an army flat green Honda 4 and sidecar which some of you may have seen getting around the place. They have brought the 4 exhausts into one, with the pipe curling around the front of the sidecar and then going skywards. If it had been a sensible price I would have been silly enough to buy it, but the ask of 140,000 baht was even sillier than my thoughts.

Ruff stuff at Bira

The Survivor

The Bira Race Circuit was the venue for the Hong Kong and Macau racers to have a lash at qualifying for the Macau Grand Prix meeting in November. There was some fairly forceful driving with this particular race car being decidedly second hand by the time it got to the chequered flag for the final, coming in second on the track, but being elevated to first after a successful protest against being given a helping hand into the corner at the end of the straight.

When they were loading the cars into the containers to take them back to HK, there were not too many that were not in need of several hits from a panel beater’s hammer and some touch up paint. For a couple, it was slightly more - like a new body shell!

Autotrivia Quiz

Last week I published this photo. The car was released in 1981 and came with a 3 litre fuel injected engine or later a 3.9 litre developing 210 bhp. It was hideously expensive, but a great car. The question was what was this car?

Bitter SC

Don’t get bitter about this, but it was the Bitter SC. These were built by Erich Bitter using Opel underpinning and engines.

So to this week. With Zafiras and other “people carriers” being all the vogue these days, which people carrier featured a Lamborghini Countach V12 engine?

For the Automania FREE beer this week, be the first correct answer to fax 427 596 or email [email protected]

Doing it in the dirt - or going mad in the mud

There is one form of motor sport which is not represented in Thailand, or even much in the UK or Europe either, called dirt oval Sprintcars. These are very strong in the US of A and in Australia, and are 6 litre V8 engines developing around 650 bhp in a space frame chassis, single seater concept. On top of the whole shebang sits a huge, no HUGE, wing, with a giant side plate on the inside (left) side of the vehicle. The races are done on enclosed quarter mile ovals, and with 20 of these beasts in an event, the stadiums shake when the throttles go down.

In my time I have been fortunate enough to drive just about every type of 4 wheeled racecar, and when the offer came to drive one of these beasts, it was accepted without question. There was only one problem - I really didn’t know too much about these dirt racers, since every bit of my racing was done on the bitumen in “Le Sport Pure” - proper race cars, slick tyres, famous names like Porsche, Lola and even MG. The vehicle I had just been invited to drive was the championship winning Sprinter called a Hi-bar Gambler and I was an innocent in the ways of the dirt.

Driving one of these things was certainly an eye-opener. Where in circuit racing the quick way around is the smooth way around, it was completely different on the dirt. The quick way was to hang the tail out all the way through the top and bottom turns, and get it straight enough to hurl it down the straightaways, without bouncing it off the walls, which incidentally are all the way round the circuit. It is similar to the two wheeled speedway racers, except that these competition vehicles are 20 times the size and go one and a half times quicker.

The driving position is not the semi-reclining one preferred by circuit racers, but a very much “sit up and beg” approach, with a big steering wheel and two pedals only. Stop under the left foot and Go under the right.

Instruments? Well, they were easy to learn as there were only two of them - water temperature and oil pressure. When I enquired about the most important instrument in my opinion, the rev counter, I was told not to worry as I wouldn’t get quick enough to over-rev! What actually happens is they ‘gear up’ the transmission by not only changing the final gearing in the transmission, but by also changing the size of the rear wheels.

Doing it in the dirt

The rear wheels are also of different sizes, which is called “stagger” in the speedway parlance. This also dictates the degree of “bite” on a slippery track, as well as the drunken angle the Sprinter sits at when stopped.

With no clutch, there is a T handle transmission engagement on the right side of the cockpit, there is one switch for the fuel pump and another for ignition - and that’s it. Starting is done by push-car, and you pull up and twist the T handle to engage the transmission and the back wheels begin to turn the engine. When the speed is enough, switch on fuel and then ignition and you are away.

The first thing that became apparent was the methanol fumes that burn the eyes, and the next was that every time I gave it any throttle it went instantly sideways. Both of these problems were alleviated by opening up the taps a little more and using more brave pills. When you begin to get up to speed, the Sprinter becomes much more manageable, even though you are actually spending most of each quarter mile lap going sideways!

Even down the straightaway, the Sprinters are travelling with a little opposite lock on, and the large balloon rear tyres brushing the wall on the outside. When you arrive at the corner you literally just toss it into the turn and balance the throttle and the amount of opposite lock, winding it off as you exit the turn and attack the next straight.

The trick is in being brave enough to hold the loud pedal down all the way through the corner, with the bum pointing at the wall. If you lift off in mid slide, the big beast immediately digs in and follows the direction the front wheels are pointing - which is towards the outside of the corner (and the wall). However, if you feel you are going just a little too fast, the way around this problem is just to lift very slightly and back off the amount of opposite lock. The large end plate on the wing works like an aerodynamic brake and produces the necessary speed wash off. But you have to keep the Sprinter in that oversteer slide.

These things are averaging more than 100 kph for the lap - try 13 seconds for 1/4 mile and you get fairly dizzy with the turns coming up very quickly. I must admit that I have never been a good lap “counter”, even with one minute plus laps as you have in bitumen racing, and with 13 second laps I found it totally impossible. However, the owner of the Sprinter assured me I had done my 30 lap allocation and I was satisfied that I had neither spun, hit the wall or collected the push-car parked in the infield (but it went close)!

Let me assure you that this form of motor sport is just as exacting as “Le Sport Pure” and the vehicles just as sophisticated for their own application. If you ever get the offer to do it in the dirt - don’t turn it down. The drive will stay in your memory forever.