Hi Hillary,
I honestly buy the Pattaya Mail to read about the next problem you have to try and solve. You have good advice. I would like to say to all the men out there, everything you do is self inflicted. But, I have a different problem and it is affecting my love life. So I am seeking your advice. I bought an expensive car and paid a lot of money, also put it in my lady’s name, after 6 months some very opportunist Thai man stole the car. The police now have this man in the monkey house, they also know that he sold it in Bangkok for 300,000 baht and they cannot recover it.
I find this very hard to believe, it is now six months and many police and all the rest want money and they will go and find it. Why must people get extra money to do what they are employed to do? If it can be returned I have no problem to pay - but why are Thai people so corrupt? The insurance do not care, I have a lawyer and he does not care for obvious reasons. Possibly you can give me the right advice. Who can I talk to? Yes I understand this is maybe not your problem.
Petal Mike

Dear Petal Mike,
“Corruption” is a hot subject right now, with the demands for under the table payments apparently higher than ever before, but I think you have to change your mind-set a little, Petal Mike. You ask “why are Thai people so corrupt” but are Thai people any different from other people? Did you use a genuine copy of Windows when you wrote your letter? Did you never try and fiddle your tax? I read an article the other day on a court clerk in the UK who was caught and sent to prison for taking corrupt payments. So it’s not just here. Countries throughout the world are making noises. But that’s about as far as it goes. So what can we do get your motor car back? You have to remember that “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” In your case, ask the policeman how much it will take to get your car back, pay it and say “Thank you”. Now, before people write to me castigating me for my stand on this, it should be remembered that most foreigners who come to live her do so because of the free and easy lifestyle. Greasing the wheels under the table is part of it. It has always been part of it in Asia. It is the way things are, and it is different from the west.

Dear Hillary,
One of our friends seems to have an endless line of girls willing to stay with him. Before you start thinking, we are all happily married and not jealous at all. The problem we have with this guy is that he sends them packing after a couple of weeks, other than one who lasted a whole two months! This is the way he lives his life, but our wives are getting tired of meeting another new girlfriend, so they ignore the new girl which then puts a dampener on our pavement social get-togethers, and the evenings turn out bad, with some of our wives saying they will not go out anywhere if he is there. We have thought about telling him what is going down, but we are worried he will tell us to shove off. Do you have any idea how we can handle this Thai women problem?
Ernie and the gang

Dear Ernie and the gang,
Your “gang” sounds like a bunch of desperados. What do you do? Rob banks? Anyway, getting back to your problem with a group of happily married Thai ladies and the ones on the outside of the married circle. This is all caused by the married ladies becoming insecure with a predator single female being introduced into their midst. There’s nothing you can do to change it, Petal. Imagine what would happen if Tom Cruise wanted to join your gang? You might get somewhat anxious too.

Dear Hillary,
Why do Thais when they are out in company with English speaking people still speak Thai to each other, even though they can speak English? I have noticed this a lot, now that I am well known enough to be invited for dinners and such. Don’t you think it is very rude of them to do this, as they know I cannot speak Thai?
English Eddie

Dear Eddie,
Hey Eddie, Thanks for the email, but where are you living? Check the address of where you live? Let me tell you, my tongue-tied Petal, that you are living in Chonburi District - that’s part of Thailand at last count. That country where the native language is called Thai. Rather than them speaking English, it is you who should speak Thai. Or is it that you are worried about the Thais talking about you? Don’t worry about it. But always remember that even paranoid people can have enemies!