The Curry Compatibility Test
Can you have a test for compatibility with curry? The GF loves Indian food but I can’t take the heat. She’s from the north so has eaten spicy food all her life while I come from England and we don’t eat spicy food at all. She wants me to share the food with her so we get about four dishes and I struggle with one while she gobbles three. End result is she’s put on 10 kg while I’ve lost 2 kg. The previous GF was the same, but don’t tell me to choose from a western woman instead of a Thai lady. What to do next?
The local ladies spicing up your life a little too much? You won’t get the GF’s to change – they’ve been eating chilies all their lives, as you point out. There’s an old English phrase “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” so that’s what you have to do. And here is Hillary to tell you how it is done. Watch a Thai cook making something in the wok. What does she spread over the food? Sugar. The degree of spiciness is altered by the sugar. So as soon as your mouth is on fire, take one teaspoon of sugar and sprinkle on your tongue. Within one minute the fire will be manageable.
The Happy Family scene
Last week you gave advice to a guy wanting to know if he should marry his Thai GF. You suggested wait. That wasn’t strong enough. The Thai GF will take care of you as long as you have money. If you marry she will slowly get you to buy things which will have to be in her name, a house, a car/motorbike land etc. Also suddenly her family one by one will have bad luck requiring a cash input from you. Probably a “brother” and other family members will move in with you and sponge off you. The “brother” will probably be her boyfriend and when they have got as much as possible out of him, he will have an accident and she will move on to the next sucker. In answer to his question is this the real thing…NO it is not.
Thank you very much for your input to this very human problem. However, I think you can apply your warnings to more than just the bar ladies here in Pattaya. The divorce rate all over the world seems to be around 50 percent, so you have a 1 in 2 chance of happiness. If you are a gambler then jump in. If you are not, and need advice from me, or from Chris, then slowly, slowly. Unfortunately, the scenario you paint one hears only too often, but then of course, the happy 50 percent don’t write to Agony Aunts.
Winning lottery ticket with a 1 in 2 chance
People write to you and it is always the same. “Should I trust a bar girl?” A number of these have had their fingers burnt, so really they know the answer already. But like Chris this week, he shows that in the relationship roulette, you have a 1 in 2 chance of good luck, which is also a 1 in 2 chance of failure! Take me for example. I did take a risk for happiness, and my ex bargirl and I are happily married after 10 years together and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. Her bar friends are like her, one is married and pregnant in the UK, one settled in Australia, a third living in Chiang Mai with her Swedish partner and the fourth still working in the bar and waiting for Mr. Right.
If a relationship fails, unless you have been particularly stupid, what have you lost? A scar left on your heart and lost a bit of cash, but time spent in the company of a lovely, sexy young Thai woman and a million happy times. Sorry for going on, but the constant negativity does grate after a time, happy couples don’t normally talk about it much to newspapers or on the internet, so the whole subject is often distorted and the damaged egos have the field to themselves. It’s just not that bad!
The other side?
It always seems the same. Love struck young men marry the (bar)girl of their dreams and end up in the divorce courts. To make a relationship work (anywhere), companionship and being a true friend in today’s relationships, especially in Thailand, are much more important than your so called love. Love is only a thing that happens many times in life to most people. I have a wonderful Thai woman who I married after a three year relationship here in Thailand. They are wonderful women who care much more about happiness and the comfort of being taken care of, than the short time love one has to offer.
Thank you for showing the other side of the coin. If you can combine Love and Living you have a greater than 50 percent chance of success.