Heart to Heart: Counting the change


Counting the change
Dear Hillary,
I’ve been with the same girl now for almost a year, everything OK till recently when I noticed the container I keep the change in was looking low. I quietly counted up the 10 baht coins, and sure enough there was quite a few missing. I asked the GF had she taken any coins and she said it must have been the maid. This woman comes once a week, and the missing money was not on a Wednesday, but any day. Just in case it was more than small change I began to keep a careful note of how much was in my wallet at night, and 20-30 baht is missing on a regular basis. Should I confront the maid, but she’s only here one day a week. Should I confront the GF who blames the maid? Or should I just ignore it altogether?

Dear Clark,
If you ignore it, it will not get any better, it will just get worse. You have already confirmed it isn’t the maid, so is there anyone else in the house? Kids? Neighbors? Nothing is going to make this situation any better, Petal. Tell the GF that “someone” is stealing money, so you aren’t going to keep a change container any more. Don’t mention the notes out of the wallet, but keep following the amount of money you keep in your wallet. I have a feeling that your days with the GF are numbered. Sorry.

A funeral for the dog that got run over
Dear Hillary,
My wife goes up to see her mother up-country every month. I give her money to catch the plane up every time. She has been doing this for a couple of years. And recently she is always later than planned, but has regular excuses like her dog got run over and she had to deal with the vet, an uncle passed away so she stayed on for the funeral, her mother was sick so she had to take her to the doctors. Last week she came home and I saw her air ticket stub which was to another city in the North East altogether. I asked her about this and she said that the ticketing girl got it wrong. I am beginning to think there are too many coincidences. What do you think Hillary? I smell a rodent.

Dear Jack,
I smell a rodent too. And so do you. Why don’t you pop up and see how the old Mum in Law is doing, next time? Too many coincidences. I would guess that you have a ‘Gik’ problem.

Bigamy, fun for the family
Dear Hillary,
I’m sure you must have heard of similar cases, but please give this your attention. My live in girl looks after me 100 percent but she’s married to some chap in the France. She tells me that she married him 10 years ago and he went back to France two years later and there’s no contact now for five years. He doesn’t send her money or anything and they had no children together. We’ve been together now a bit over a year and she is making noises like she wants to get married and build a little house up-country. What’s involved in this?

Dear Jeremy,
What’s involved? Paperwork, legal advice, paperwork and money, unless you’re handy with the hod and brickie’s trowel. And that’s not counting the cost of the little house up-country, which is a lot more than you think. Or lot more than she’s telling you. Really, my Petal, this is all very one-sided. She helps you with your socks in the morning and you buy her a house. Which, never forget, is in her name, not yours. Get the running shoes on.

Joining a club?
Dear Hillary,
Is it usual for a Thai girl to join clubs and associations? My wife of 10 years attends meetings almost every night of the week. Service clubs, women’s groups and the like. Gets home late saying that she and a couple of the women stopped off for some noodles before coming home (late). As many of these clubs seem to be worthy causes I haven’t made too many noises at home. Should I?

Dear Will,
Sounds like she’s bored, and you too. Why don’t you join the clubs as well as her? Not even the same clubs as your wife (which I am sure will all be Thai language clubs). You need something to do, Will my Petal. And always remember that where there’s a will there’s a won’t.

The local skippy
Dear Hillary,
Where can I buy a kangaroo skin floor mat? A friend of mine has one and it is a great talking piece, as well as keeping the cold floor tiles off your feet. My friend won’t tell me where he got his, but I’m sure it was somewhere near here.

Dear Joe,
Have you tried Melbourne airport? That’s fairly close to here. About 12 hours or so. They tell me that kangaroos breed like rabbits so the airport should have lots of skins as they try to keep the runways clear.