The term ‘messy syndrome’ first appeared in the media when an American woman
published how she had turned into a ‘messie’ during the 1980s and how difficult
it was for her to change her behavior and get control over her life again.
Messies accumulate objects that have become worthless and
useless in their apartments. Slowly, these places will become less and less
habitable, in extreme cases they can just be crossed by narrow corridors between
stacks of filled plastic bags, storage boxes or heaps of old magazines or books;
they might even become a hygienic issue due to insect infestation or bad odor.
Still, a messy can not just throw these things out, as he or she feels that they
have important emotional value or that one day, they might need them again or
that some of them belong to a certain collection they want to keep.
The deeper psychological problem of ‘messies’ is that they
have serious difficulties to maintain or achieve order and to organize
themselves. While they are often aware of the problem and develop plans on how
to get rid of their ‘mess’, they fail at putting these plans into action, which
leaves them even more frustrated. This also has an impact on their self-esteem
and quite often results in refraining from social contacts, at times resulting
in chronic isolation.
It is not a solution to force affected persons to organize
themselves and get rid of what we see as ‘rubbish’, they would see that as
violent, rude, and a serious intrusion into their privacy. Messies are often
very intelligent and sensitive people, they easily perceive if someone doesn’t
take them seriously. They just lack the automatism that old stuff has to be
chucked away.
Today, a well-proven approach to help messies to slowly solve
their problem, is a combination of psychotherapy and if possible, to find peer
exchange in self-help groups. In severe cases, social workers might have to be
involved. The affected persons will learn how to develop and apply strategies
that will eventually work out better than what they themselves have tried so
far. It might be something that takes some time, but at the end, the former
‘messies’ will gain personal freedom and remarkably improve their self esteem.
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Live the happy life you planned! Richard L.
Fellner is head of the Counseling Center Pattaya in Soi Kopai and
offers consultations in English and German languages after making an
appointment at 0854 370 470. |
