Dear
Hillary,
These women here are strange creatures. Hot as hell one day
and damn icebergs the next and I have absolutely no idea what brings it on. Had
a couple of live-ins and I’ve had to give them both the door. Is there some way
of finding out what these girls are like before you get too far into the
relationship? It doesn’t seem to matter how much salary you pay them, if they
get in a snit, that’s it.
Mike
Dear Mike,
You are certainly all heart, aren’t you. Pay “them” a salary and you think you
own the woman and how she feels. What sort of relationship is that, me Petal?
Your “live-ins” are merely “rented wives” (mia chow) and they have no compulsion
in leaving, generally by being non-communicative, after which you will have to
“buy” them out so they will leave. Mike, you’ve met your match, and you are
getting what you deserve. Maids get salaries, partners are not maids, and it is
time men like you realized the difference. Any woman who is willing to be your
live-in is not trying to impress you. It is a straight out financial
arrangement, and the contract can be broken by either side - but if you say it’s
over, then you will pay again! Get out of the financial arena and find some nice
genuine Thai women who would like to share their lives with you.
Dear Hillary,
I met a beautiful tall girl in a bar whose family buffalo was very well, her
brother doesn’t ride motorbikes and her mother is in A1 health. What should I
look out for as the next step?
Amazed
Dear Amazed,
Check the Adam’s apple.
Dear Hillary,
It hurts me to think of you at Xmas, all alone with no chocolates or champers.
These people who knock you should remember all the fun you give us each year. I
won’t be back till the New Year, but I’ll bring you back something for sure.
Jim
Dear Jim,
It makes it all worthwhile to find that there are some really nice men out there
who appreciate what I do for them. Advice and few smiles can change the day for
you. Champagne and chocolates changes my day and puts the smiles on my face!
Dear Hillary,
I have been going out with a wonderful Thai girl, a proper young “lady” not a
bar girl, and we have become quite serious and I am now looking into the future.
Everything seemed to be going along very well, although we did have some
problems, just caused by communication problems (as I can’t speak Thai). The
other night she dropped the bombshell. “My mother tell me I must marry Thai
man.” Just like that! Hillary, is this a common thing in Thai families? Does her
mother have that much power that she can dictate what her daughter does, and
even the choice of husband for her? Surely in this 21st century Thai girls are
not stuck with arranged marriages, and if they are, what can a farang do in this
situation?
Devastated Dave
Dear DD,
Does her mother have that sort of authority? Yes, Dave, in a traditional Thai
family she certainly does. It may be the 21st century for you, Dave, but in
Thailand it is the 26th century and despite the extra 500 years, the traditional
ways are still very strong. Thai people believe in the need for family members
to look after each other and her mother is merely looking after her daughter in
the traditional way. You are from an alien culture, Petal, and even if your Thai
lady is well versed in the ways of the modern international world, the
traditional values will still be held by the family. Have you stopped to
consider that perhaps the Thai man may have already paid a dowry to the family?
In the case of a well educated girl this could go as high as two million baht.
What can you do? You can either keep in there and hope, or call it quits now
before you get in too deep. However, you should sit down with your girl and
discuss it first.
Dear Hillary,
Have you seen all the pedestrian traffic lights on Beach Road? There are 16 of
them and nobody paid a blind bit of notice to them, so now they have chaps with
flags complete with a whistle who jump out in front of the speeding minibuses. I
have checked the flag material and it is plastic and no match for the vehicles.
Pedestrian crossings are all very fine, but 16 on Beach Road?
James Wilson
Dear James,
When they first went up outside the office, I thought they had done it just for
me and I was thrilled. Then I found they were everywhere! Unfortunately James,
my column is not going to take your case very far. Being threatened by a baht
bus belting through the red lights really isn’t the stuff of heartbroken lovers,
but I do understand your annoyance. Instead of protecting the tourists, who will
imagine that the traffic will stop, it puts them more in danger. Send your
letter to City Hall, my Petal.