I have always liked BMW motor cars. Of this
fact, I have made no secret. The BMW 330’s I tested a couple
of times in the last two years were truly delightful motor
cars, and came the closest to what I consider the
‘perfect’ motor car. Strong in all points. Performance,
comfort and all-round driveability. The 330 was the kind of
car you made excuses to run down to the shop, just to get
behind the wheel again.
BMW
330i
When BMW said that the new 330 was
available I was really looking forward to the experience. If
the previous 330 was almost perfect, this new one must be the
holy grail of the motor car world.
The styling of a motor car is a personal
concept. This new (Adrian van Hooydonk and Chris Bangle)
styled 3 series just doesn’t do it for my money. The compact
understated styling of the previous model has given way to a
scaled down version of the 5 series, with the ‘swoopy’
eyes and sculptured panels which BMW call “flame” styling.
And then there is the Bangle bottom. This bulbous monstrosity
appeared in the 7 series, looking like the add-on that taxis
use to cram more advertising on the rear of the car. It was
watered down a little for the 5 series, and now has been
carried over into the 3 series. I really have to give BMW some
sort of award for continuing and expanding a visual concept
that has been roundly rejected by the world. Perhaps all this
might be worth it, if the new 3 series had a boot you could
now use, and motor car manufacturers are always keen to tell
you the volume of the boot space. However, do not try and
carry a computer monitor. The opening is not large enough to
get one in, despite the increase in volume.
The
new 3 series is bristling with technology, but does all this
make for a better motor car? Undoubtedly there will have been
some improvements, but on a car that was almost ‘perfect’
before, it becomes difficult to see anything less than quantum
leaps. However, it does become easy to see areas where the new
car appears to have gone backwards.
Take the key and starting method for
example. Back in the ‘good old days’ you got a key which
you stuck in a keyhole and turned it to the right and the car
was powered up and then started. To stop the engine, you
turned the key to the left. Simple and logical. Obviously, too
simple and too logical! Now you get a plastic key fob with no
key. You stick the keyless device into a slot in the dashboard
which powers up the electrics. Having done that you get a
“start” button to push and the engine bursts into life.
Two manoeuvres instead of one.
To shut the car down is even more
technological fun. Like your Windows program on your PC, in
which you have to click on ‘start’ to be able to stop it,
the 3 series BMW’s ‘start’ button also has to be pushed
at the end of your trip, as it doubles as the ‘stop’
button as well. Then you take the plastic keyless fob out of
its slot, which you do by pushing it further into the dash and
it will then pop out again, something like the memory chip in
a digital camera.
Now in BMW’s defense, the ‘start’
button does also have ‘stop’ written on it, but there is
only one problem – you cannot see the button from the
driver’s seat. BMW’s ergonomics designer has hidden both
the plastic keyless fob slot and the start/stop button behind
the left spoke of the steering wheel. This is a step forward?
Not in my book, at least.
Now, remember when cars had five wheels?
Four on the road and one spare, generally hidden in the boot
somewhere. Placement of this bulky item obviously gave car
designers sleepless nights, and various alternatives have been
tried by many manufacturers. Porsche persevered with the
‘space saver’ wheel, which you had to inflate before use,
using a small electric compressor which plugged into the
cigarette lighter. And you waited a lot while it asthmatically
wheezed the unwilling folded sidewall ‘space saver’ into
being something that looked vaguely like a wheel and tyre, on
which you could do up to 80 kph on your way to the repair
shop. Other manufacturers even had a fling with an aerosol can
of instant puncture repair goo, which never worked, especially
if the side wall was slashed.
However, technology has come to help us
again. We now have the ‘run-flat’ tyre. You do not need to
take it off when it is punctured. There is a solid band inside
the carcass and stiff sidewalls, so the rolling diameter
remains the same and home you toddle on your ‘flat’ tyre,
as long as home is within a radius of 250 kays. And no need to
have a spare tyre in the boot. Brilliant!
Unfortunately, in their headlong surge to
embrace the new technology, the designers (on the 3 series at
least) seemed to have ignored the simple concepts of ride and
comfort. Driving the 330, it felt as though the tyres were
made of concrete and the suspension dynamics were totally
unable to cope. Expansion strips on the elevated highway were
traversed with a horrible thump and clatter, so much so that
the car was skipping and twitching as it went over them. This
was noticeable to both driver and passenger. But, at least we
did not have to carry a spare in the boot!
The test car was a local unit apparently,
and not fitted with the adaptive steering which is available
on the CKD cars. That is a shame, as the adaptive steering
tested on the 5 series was excellent, while the ‘standard’
steering on the 330 test car was stiff and gave no feel, other
than crossing expansion strips, when it kicked the steering
wheel violently.
So far not too many ticks on the 330i
report card, but we now come to the engine. This is a
naturally aspirated six cylinder unit delivering around 255
bhp if one believes the spec sheets (and I do). The block is
magnesium, to keep the weight down and the rest aluminium. The
electronically controlled variable valve timing and valve lift
allow this engine to be docile at low speeds but still deliver
a good push in the back as the engine goes past 4000 rpm on
its way to its 7000 rpm redline. There is a wonderfully
subdued engine note with heavy applications of the right foot,
and it is difficult not to fall into the trap of doing
acceleration runs, just for the sheer enjoyment of it all.
However, my enjoyment was a little compromised by some
hesitation that could be experienced on accelerating from low
speeds with full throttle. I think this was a tuning glitch,
as other testers have not mentioned this, though I must admit
I do not pay much attention to other testers’ reports, which
tend to slavishly follow the manufacturer’s press releases.
The gearbox on the test 330i was the six
speed Steptronic, so you can drive around in fully automatic
mode, or slip the shift lever to the left and enjoy a degree
of manual control, but the electronic over-ride soon comes
into play if you dwell in the lower ratios too long.
Personally, I think this is a good option, as the Sequential
Manual Gearbox (SMG in BMW parlance) whilst being great for
track work, is a pain in Bangkok traffic, as is any manual
shifter.
The previous incarnation of the 330i was what I have
already described as ‘almost’ the perfect car. This new
version, for me at least, is a backwards step, despite the
power increase. The comfort factor, or lack of it, would stop
me buying one of these, even if the price tag were not around
four million baht, but something more affordable.
Note
that I have been using past tense here, as somebody stole them
both from my front patio in the middle of the night. It would
have needed two people, as they came in from the front yard of
the vacant house next door, as its gate is not locked.
Lowering them into the next door’s area, they would have
then wheeled them away.