Dear Hillary,
I have been married to my Thai wife for 10 years. We get by on a pension from
the UK, which buys less and less every year. She runs a little Mom and Pop
convenience store downstairs, but that isn’t doing too well recently, lucky to
cover the rent. Her two younger brothers have moved to Pattaya from Udon and
they are staying with us as well and neither one has a job, but all they do all
day is lie about the place watching telly. I really don’t like this situation
and I told my wife that as things are tough, they should pay rent. She came back
saying “I am not a foreigner. They are my blood.” I know the Thai’s keep the
family as number one, but surely these two lumps should be looking for a job,
instead of eating us out of house and home. How do I handle this, Hillary?
Ron
Dear Ron,
You really do have a problem here, my Petal. The “family” does come first - they
learn this from an early age, and the girls are taught that they are there to
look after the brothers. You are not going to re-educate your wife, so
unhappily, I think you are stuck with this situation. You are married to a Thai
woman with a Thai family and living in Thailand. You can try discussing this
with her, but you are outnumbered. Learn to live with it, Ron.
Dear Hillary,
My local bar has a few girls that work out of there and one
of them has decided that I am her property and claims me as soon as I walk in
the door. All I want to do is to have a couple of drinks after work. I don’t
want this attention, how do I get her to stop it? I don’t want to offend her,
but she’s not my type.
Mike
Dear Mike,
You just have to be brave and tell her you don’t want her company, so “Bye-Bye”
is called for. She will give up very quickly and go looking for some other
sucker, sorry, drinker.
Dear Hillary,
I get told that the old hands have a saying “How do you tell
when your Thai GF is lying to you? Her lips are moving.” Is it really that bad?
I have a Thai GF and she hasn’t been lying to me. Well, I suppose I think not!
George
Dear George,
Have you never told a lie, Petal? Not even a teensy-weensy one? Never fibbed to
your Thai GF as to why you were late home? Sorry George, I don’t believe you if
you said you haven’t told a lie! But seriously, a lot depends upon how good the
relationship is. In a good secure relationship there’s no need to lie, because
there is honest discussion, and looking for the middle ground when there are
contentious issues.
Dear Hillary,
Is all of Thailand suffering with a “Mai pen rai” attitude to
road safety? We are coming up to Songkran and hundreds are killed, but “Mai pen
rai”. The “educated” Thais I socialize and do business with are embarrassed by
the poor drivers in Pattaya and the even poorer enforcement of the traffic laws.
Seven years ago, the VP of the company I then worked for dismissed Thailand as
quote, “Have you seen a Thai behind the wheel; they’re barbarians.”
When a foreigner gets hurt on the streets of Pattaya, he goes
home and tells his friends - possibly a million baht loss in tourist income. A
foreigner gets killed and it makes the Western Papers - maybe a hundred million
baht impact to Thailand.
As for “If you weren’t there in the first place the accident
wouldn’t have happened” - if the Thai wasn’t acting like a two year old half-wit
and showed some sense of social responsibility consistent with that of an
emerging industrialized nation, the accident probably wouldn’t have happened
either!
I, like most people, came to Pattaya for the climate and
relaxation, not to be run down by some socially irresponsible idiot with a
fourth world mentality. Overall, I enjoy living in Pattaya, but a more civilized
attitude behind the wheel would go a long way to changing the backward, third
world country image many westerners have of Thailand. In the future, I think
that you should take this issue more seriously!
Matthew
Dear Matthew,
Do you honestly expect Hillary to change the driving standards here? Be real,
Petal! “My Pen Rai” is part of the “why” I would believe. However, Matthew,
there are people who do take this seriously - for example, the Jomtien-Pattaya
Rotary Club has previously sponsored Driver Education in the schools - surely
the best way to change the attitude of tomorrow’s drivers. Quite frankly, I do
not think that your calling Thais “two year old half wits” or “socially
irresponsible idiots” helps the problem much either. I am told Thailand has the
second worst road toll statistics in the world, and I agree we should do
something about it. In the meantime, just walk everywhere, you’re safe 90
percent of the time on the footpaths.
