Dear Hillary,
I will be moving into an apartment block next month, and I have said I will pay
six months in advance. I thought that was a pretty good deal for the owner and
would show I am serious about the place. I’ve been dealing through an agent and
now she says that it isn’t six months in advance I gave her, it’s only four
months as they keep two months as a deposit. Isn’t it enough of a security that
I was putting up six months in advance. Is this usual?
Jack
Dear Jack,
I am not a real estate broker, but in Pattaya the “usual” is 12 months rental
(not six months) and two months deposit, returned after you vacate and with all
utilities being paid and any damages repaired. You can’t say to take the deposit
out of the rental. It is on top, Petal. Does that explain it all for you? I hope
so!
Dear Hillary,
I am thinking of retiring in Thailand and Pattaya in particular (I’m now 64) as
I always enjoy myself when over there. It certainly is “fun city” where an older
senior can feel that he still has a part to play in the society. What worries me
is I see fellers my age sitting outside the local 7-Eleven nursing a hot bottle
of beer, and that’s at 9 in the morning! Is that what the future would be for me
too?
Clarence
Dear Clarence,
No, that is not your future, my Petal. You are much too savvy for that. To be
able to live successfully in Pattaya, you should aim to live at the standard you
live at in the US (I’ve guessed that you are from there, but the advice is just
the same, no matter where you came from). Join some of the clubs that are here
in Pattaya, with service clubs, special interest groups like Bridge or
computers, and become an upright member the Pattaya society, then you won’t have
time for the local 7-Eleven club!
Dear Hillary,
Every week there’s somebody writing in that they’ve been cheated by their Thai
GF. You pass it off that these are all girls from the bar, but that’s not always
the case. I know of two husbands that were cheated on by their Thai wives, good
types and not bar girls. Ask around and they are not the only ones. There are
plenty of them. Is this the way Thai women work? OK when it’s new and exciting,
but when it becomes routine go and play up. The Gik thing they all talk about,
as if it is normal.
Jamie
Dear Jamie,
Thai women do like a little fun in their lives, and if the marriage has become
dull, then they’ll go and spice it up a bit. Getting in the Gik situation is not
healthy for any marriage which needs ‘trust’ to blossom, but it does mean that
the two people in the marriage should look at their situations and both work to
put the spark back into the relationship.
Hi Hillary,
Keep the bright side of life going - for those of us not lucky enough to be in
Thailand all the time we certainly appreciate the Thai sunshine you bring to us.
My Thai wife and I get over about three times a year and you’ve got no idea just
how much I look forward to it.
It is certainly refreshing to see a Farang / Thai marriage success story. For
the doubters out there - yes, there are very many others who share in the
wonderful experience of being married to a Thai woman. Dare I give advice? Okay
then, but it is the same as for any other prospective long term union
irrespective of nationality - “remember to engage the brain before slapping the
gear stick into top and then pressing the turbo button.” Yes, there are many
differences in culture to overcome and the rules are not quite the same, “face”
was certainly a new concept for me to understand! But a good Thai woman with
some education and a sensible and flexible Farang man who can listen and try to
understand can match just perfectly - it is after all only the fool and his
money that are soon parted, but parting with a little here and there
occasionally to help the family is expected and is not so bad, is it? Not when
you look at the rewards.
Happy
Dear Happy,
I am so glad I can add you and your wife to the ‘happy’ relationships pile, my
Petal. You are correct when you say that there is a certain amount of
flexibility required to overcome the cultural differences, but that comes from
both sides. She has to understand you just as you have to understand her.
Financial assistance for the family is expected in Thailand, but provided this
is kept to within agreed limits there is no problem. In fact, most farang
husbands enjoy taking on the additional responsibilities. I hope you will always
remain “Happy”!
