Dear Hillary,
As far as I can see Thai women are all liars. I don’t even think they see it as lying, but just a way to avoid facing the truth. Is this because they fear a loss of face or what? We have had many discussions at work about this, but we don’t really know. You are the one who can set us straight, I am sure.
Bill and the Boys

Dear Bill and the Boys,
Thank you for the vote of confidence, my Petal, but it isn’t quite that easy. First off you cannot say Thai women are all liars, they are not all the same. Some tell lies, certainly, but it’s usually to avoid something they don’t want to face up to, as opposed to losing face. Of course in a situation where they will lose face, they will also try and wriggle their way out of it, and that probably needs a bit of a lie here and there. Remember that even Thai politicians have been caught out bending the truth when directly questioned on some subjects. My experience is that women of all nationalities will be economical of the truth as someone once said. The big problem comes in relationships where bare-faced lies can destroy the relationship. Out and out lying is done to hide something, and everyone is the same there. Including you, Bill. What are you hiding, Petal?

Dear Hillary,
Why are there so many men writing to you with problems with their GFs? Money seems to be the main thing both for her and for him. She wants it, he doesn’t want to give it. So why did they hook up in the first place? I think a lot of these complainers tried to big note themselves to attract the girl, and when she finds it was all a make-up that’s when the rot sets in.
James

Dear James,
The letter above yours has the answer. Both sides are willing to lie to get the relationship started, and when the lies are uncovered, that is the beginning of the end of it. Entering any live-in relationship needs both sides to be honest, so that neither of them goes in with unreal expectations.

Dear Hillary,
You’ve had this before I’m sure, where a casual girlfriend takes up residence and won’t shift out. I’ve said she’s got to go and she’ll agree, but when I come back from work, she’s still there with excuses as to her father didn’t come with the truck, and other similar reasons. This has been going on for two weeks and I’m rapidly losing patience. It’s not as if we had a long time relationship, she’d only been living with me for four weeks beforehand. How do I get rid of her?
Jan

Dear Jan,
You brought all this on your own head, Petal, and now you are suffering the consequences. What you have to do now is to take a day off work and be very strict with her. Hire a truck to take her belongings away and pay her a little goodbye money. You have lived here for some time, so you know the score. Everything costs money here, doesn’t it! Cough up and she’ll move on to another sucker.
Dear Hillary,
I want to get married again next year. I have been married before, but to an American woman, and that finished a few years ago, and almost finished me bank account as well. Now that I have found Thailand, I come over for a couple of months three times a year, so there’s plenty of time to get to know someone. What is the best way to go about finding my next wife? The bars certainly make it easy to get to know someone, and there are some stunners working there. I know you warn us about the girls from the bars, but what is the alternative?
Don the Divorcee

Dear Don the Divorcee,
It may have cost you money in the US to get unhitched, Don, but don’t think that everything in Thailand is “free”. I can assure you that it is not. The girls from the bars are professionals in keeping men happy in their own delusions, but there is always a rude awakening when the girl becomes tired of it. Some extra money pumped into the relationship will get it steaming along fine again - for a while - until a financial top-up becomes necessary again. Bar girl relationships are business dealings, my Petal, and are based on that. Marriages should be based on love, physical and mental attraction and a desire to make the relationship permanent and strong.
So what is the alternative to a bar? Exactly the same as in the US, Petal. You join common interest clubs and associations, you keep an eye out for someone who pulls your string, be that in a restaurant, bank or dental surgery. Finding a ‘mate’ is not accomplished by taking the easy way - ‘easy’ bar girls who are ready to please, ending up in a union based on your wallet, that’s all.
Forget this idea that you want to get married next year. If the right woman comes along you could even get married this year.