We are what we were then. This is the apparent philosophy
of “Evolutionary Psychology.” It was also the premise that the brains of men
and women are wired differently because of the different roles men and women
had from the time when human beings began their evolutionary cycle. The
speaker at the Pattaya City Expats Club’s November 17 meeting, Ren Lexander,
spoke on the topic: “The Ape in Your Bedroom...How Evolutionary Psychology
sheds light on the battle of the sexes.”
PCEC’s meeting on September 17th
began with Helle Rantsen, president of the Pattaya International Ladies
Club, inviting PCEC members and guests to attend the PILCs’ Christmas Bazaar
next door at the Holiday Inn.
Ren devoted his talk to the differences between the sexes
and how this has been influenced by evolution. Ren acknowledged that this
can sometimes be perceived as a sensitive topic. He emphasised that he was
talking about how things are, and not passing judgment on whether the
differences are good or bad.
He mentioned that Germaine Greer published the landmark book “The Female
Eunuch” in 1970, an important text in the mantra of the feminist movement in
the 1970s; that men and women were intrinsically the same and that the
differences between them were the result of having been brought up
differently. However, Ren’s message was that the differences are
evolutionary.
Ren described early humans; noting that humans are the only species where
males and females obtain their food differently. From the early days of
humans on Earth, Ren said men were the hunters and women were the gatherers.
Each job required different skills. The men were focused on their prey (the
protein); they did not talk much because talking would alert the prey. The
women were gathering plants and grains (the carbohydrates). To do that job,
the women needed to multi-task and they needed peripheral vision, Ren
explained; thus these actions of the gatherers were environmentally
conducive to talking. At the end of the day, the men would come back from
the hunt and there was a joining of the species. Compare this to the
modern-day barbecue, Ren said. The guys gather around the barbecue (the
protein) while the women are inside (preparing the carbs).
PCECs’ topic for the day was a
presentation by member Ren Lexander titled ‘The Ape in the Bedroom’ - a
provocative look at new research into human (and other primate) sexuality.
Ren then brought up the issue of monogamy in certain
species. He mentioned a study in England that concluded that women check out
men as much as men check out women. The only difference is that while men do
so in a way that is obvious (as in making direct eye contact or turning
their head); the women used their peripheral vision, thus their interest is
not as obvious.
Ren said that male chimpanzees, which mate with many different females, find
all females attractive regardless of age. Why are male humans different? Ren
said he believes it is because of the importance humans place on the family
unit and raising children. Further, it takes a massive commitment for two
parents to raise a child; it requires about 15 years. Consequently, his
opinion was that human males are attracted to young females because their
instinct is to find someone whose remaining lifespan will allow them to
spend 15 years or more in raising the children.
Birds mate for life, Ren said. Raising chicks is hard work; it takes both
parents to do it and it appears they have a monogamous relationship. Yet,
studies show that female birds do have sex with males other than their
mates. Many of the male birds were cuckolds, Ren said - raising children
that they did not sire. Likewise, Ren cited a recent study in a housing
estate in England that used DNA sampling and found that 20% of the offspring
in the families surveyed had DNA that did not match their father’s DNA; a
case of humans imitating birds.
He also mentioned that the traits human males and females are looking for in
the opposite sex, is not the same. Ren cited a study in Australia that found
that men are looking for only one thing - the right chemistry - when they
pursue women. However, women tend to have a long list of things they are
looking for in a man (such as what kind of work does he do? and who are his
parents?) - looking with the brain rather than the libido.
Rens spoke of the ‘balance’
between the sexes - otherwise known as the ‘battle of the sexes’.
Ren said that he has concluded that the natural state for
humans is “pretend monogamy” or “pseudo-monogamy.” Acceptance of this state
is culturally determined, he said. For example, when a cabinet minister in
Britain is discovered having an affair, it is a major scandal - whereas, in
France, nobody blinked an eye when President François Mitterrand’s mistress
and her daughter (by him) showed up at the president’s funeral.
Ren Lexander is the author of seven books, including “Seduction by the
Stars, An Astrological Guide to Love, Lust and Intimate Relationships”
(co-written with a professional astrologer). The book Ren mentioned in his
talk, “The Red Queen,” is available on www.amazon. com and from the iBooks
store (among other places).
After Ren answered several questions from the audience, Master of Ceremonies
Richard Silverberg brought everyone up to date on upcoming events and called
on Roy Albiston to conduct the Open Forum, where questions are asked and
answered about Expat living in Thailand, especially Pattaya.
Find out more about the activities of the PCEC by visiting
www.pattayacityexpatsclub.com.
MC Richard Silverberg presents
Ren with a Certificate of Appreciation as thanks for his interesting and
controversial presentation.
