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Heart to Heart with Hillary

 


Hello Hillary,
I write this to anyone who considers complaining about Thailand or Pattaya or Chiang Mai or where ever. Start with the weather. It doesn’t get much better than in Pattaya, right? The girls are cute and can be very funny. Thai-food is fantastic. Thai-people are sweet people (most of them).
I have travelled to Thailand and elsewhere in Asia, as much as I could afford for the last 18 years. I have spent more than 5 years in Thailand, in total. Spent all my money, travelled all over this beautiful country, most of the time with great companions, though most of them don’t like even a short walk.
The Thais are great teachers, both in customs and language. I always bear in mind that I am a stranger and if any of us has to learn something, then it’s me! And it is like the more I learn, the more I realize that it will go on forever learning about Thai-ness. I really love it.
I am not sure how other people deal with Thailand, but if you want to live there, here’s a few advises: Learn to speak/read and write Thai. Eat Thai food, Thaistyle (on the floor and loads of chilli). Don’t fall in love with the girl in the bar. Keep a cool head. Just remember that you are NOT there to ‘rescue’ anyone, okay?! But have your fun. That’s why you are there in the first place, right? Keep a cool (not cold) heart, and you will get into it. Finally I can recommend to stay in a room with no air-con. Fan will do. It’s a lot cheaper and then you acclimatize. The list goes on.
But stop complaining. I write this from Denmark where I sit alone. It is pitch black outside, rain and heavy wind. Other than the sound of the wind, the streets are deserted and it’s a very quiet Sunday night. I miss Thailand and the wonderful Thai people. Enjoy Pattaya and Thailand!
Peter J

Dear Peter J,
You certainly did pick up the Thai bug, didn’t you! In fact, you really did pick up a very serious case of the Thai bug, didn’t you! Sorry I had to shorten the letter, my Petal, but we ran out of space. It is 32 degrees here as I write this, even with a thunderstorm threatening, so why don’t you get yourself pointed back here, where you can enjoy life and living! I agree that your advice should be considered by all newbies to Pattaya. Mind you, I’m not very thrilled by fan rooms at night. I need my air-con. I don’t care how much it costs! (Anyway, I don’t worry, as the Editor pays for it!)

Dear Hillary,
I am told that the bar girl sex for sale thing came with the Americans on R&R from Vietnam. That’s about 40 years ago. Surely it’s time to stop blaming us Americans for everything?
GI Joe

Dear GI Joe,
Thank you for the opportunity to print a correction. The R&R Americans did not bring prostitution to Thailand. The “world’s oldest profession” was alive and well long before the VN conflict. In fact by several hundred years! It really is time people understood that this is not a Thailand phenomenon, but exists everywhere. Any of you been to Amsterdam (Holland), or King’s Cross (Australia), or Soho (London) or the Reeperbahn (Hamburg) recently? However, Thailand may be just a little bit more honest about the whole situation.

Dear Hillary,
When you go to any function here in Thailand, there are always some fabulously pretty girls as hostesses or promotions girls. How do you get to know these girls? Can you just bowl over and chat them up, or what? I’d love to be seen with one of these on my arm. They’re almost too delicious to be true. My mates at home wouldn’t believe it if I could get a piccy with one or two of them.
Kendall

Dear Kendall,
Yes, they are very pretty, and they are chosen for the position because of their looks. To look as immaculate as they do, most of them will spend a couple of hours before the function on make-up and hair styling. (Not like me, I can bolt out of the dormitory in under three minutes, but then I’m not a “pretty” am I?) You see, these girls are employed to be hostesses and promotions girls. That means they are paid. It’s their looks that they are selling. That is their job, and they have to do it well, or they don’t get another gig. So now you know how you end up with one or more of these “pretties” on your arm - you pay for the privilege, Petal, and you may even find that most of them don’t speak English. They are there for their looks, not for language skills. There are more photo opportunities on Walking Street, Loi Kroh, Nana or Cowboy. And the girls from Walking Street, Loi Kroh, Nana or Cowboy can at least speak English, such as “Hello sexy man!” if nothing else. That’s on top of “Welcome” and “Sit down please.” Amazing linguists some of them.

 



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