|
|
|
Heart to Heart with Hillary
|
|
Dear Hillary,
Are the Thai girl’s legs getting longer, or are the skirts getting shorter?
Every day I keep on seeing these gorgeous honeys with hems than barely cover
their bottoms (I changed the word you used, Petal, to one that isn’t rude - this
is a family newspaper). Do these girls realize just how much of a turn-on this
is? Or do they just blindly follow fashion? All my mates at the ogling bar agree
with me, but want to know your take on it all.
Franklin
Dear Franklin,
There was a study done many years ago where they measured skirt length and
compared it to the financial situation in that country. As the country’s
finances improved, the hems went down. When the finances went down, the skirt
hems went up. Applying that to today, and I agree that hemlines are very short
(other than mine, of course, as I wear mine to ankle level), that means we are
not as healthy financially as we were told. With the political party in power
wanting to borrow two trillion baht, we would seem to be in for a bumper year
for short hems and longer legs. I don’t think your friends from the bars will be
complaining.
Dear Hillary,
Are there really that many dipsticks out there that still think the ladies from
the bar are honest and truthful, with “I lub you too mut” muttered in the ear
while massaging the leg (any leg, Hillary). Surely, after all this time, and all
your advice, they must accept that bar girls are fun “short time” experiences,
and not a massive marrying market (with some at bargain prices - for the
deposit). Is this some sort of brain deficiency that becomes obvious in beer
bars? It seems to be all farangs, not just the English speaking ones.
Jonah
Dear Jonah,
Yes, it is a deficiency, which is supposed to be brought on by not enough warmth
and affection from their own ladies in their farang countries, I am told. Thai
ladies are small, fun-loving and from the bars, uninhibited. That is until that
small Thai fun-loving lady manages to get hold of the ATM card with its pin
number (which is the same as getting the whole ATM, wallet and all) and certain
restrictions are then applied! Different beer bars every night will become past
memories, while the small fun-lover really ties the farang down, who then writes
to me to tell me of their woes, and how did this happen?
Dear Hillary,
Over my years in LOS (33 now), there is nothing you can do to save a friend from
a life changing event (with a bar girl). Had one who abandoned his U.S. family,
took their life’s saving and bought into a bar in Patpong, back when you could
walk the sois. Two years later he died a miserable lonely, slow, broke death.
Another, did the up country house, with life’s savings, six months later he was
out, and drank himself to death in Chang Mai.
Every conceivable way to ruin a farangs life, I have seen first hand. You can
talk a blue streak all the way to the U.K. and he will still do as he pleases
because his heart and organ are over ruling his brain and he’ll hate you for it,
unless you support his decisions.
Have friends who have asked me to give $$$ to their girlfriends, or asked that I
look in on them, now they don’t ask because I have always refused. If and when
the relationship goes south, I will have no hand in it, and won’t be the
messenger.
Have, or had, a friend who I haven’t heard from in months, my emails and calls
have gone unanswered. Built the house up country, shipped or thought he shipped
a load of expensive furniture from Aus. His lady told my wife the furniture
never got to the ship, nor can he find who he gave $10,000 USD to ship it. Is he
angry at me? I told him exactly how I did it when my wife and I retired. What he
did, no idea. Everyone’s life is their own to ruin, and no different here than
anywhere else, just takes less time here.
Pickles
Dear Pickles,
If everyone was as smart as you, there would be no need for me! The problem
comes down to the fact that unsolicited advice is never appreciated! Keep going,
Petal, you have the right answers.
Dear Hillary,
I see some of the answers for writers to you seem to end up in the Readers
Letters section? What is the reason for this? Or don’t you answer your emails
any more? Please don’t give up, Hillary. Yours is the best column in the Pattaya
Mail.
Ernie
Dear Ernie,
If you want to make sure that I get any correspondence, then you have to mark it
for my attention - otherwise is becomes part of the newspaper in general.
However, it doesn’t really matter, my Petal, I can always reply as well. Thank
you for the kind words. Always nice to hear (especially when wrapped around a
nice cold bottle of bubbly).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|