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Heart to Heart with Hillary

 

Dear Hillary,
Does anyone else have this problem? My Thai wife of six years goes back to the village to see her mother and grandmother about every six months. She tells me she will be away for about three days, but it always stretches out to be around a week. I am sure she isn’t playing up as she sends me photos of herself and the family and where they’ve been. The main problem is with the children who miss their mother very much, and don’t want to go to school, just in case they miss their mother coming back home. Any suggestions, Khun Hillary?
Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,
You have now met the magnetic attraction in Thailand called “family”. When your wife goes to see her relatives, they take first place when she is there. You and the children only get first place when she is down here. What you should do is schedule regular visits for her, and slot these into the school calendar, so the children can go up to see their grandmother and great-grandmother at the same time. “Family” always comes first, Petal. You should know that by now, having spent a few years in Thailand.

Dear Hillary,
My teenage daughter wants a motorcycle for her birthday in August. She will be 17. She has all the good reasons as to why she should have a motorcycle, ease of getting to school, all her friends have one, I wouldn’t need to pick her up all the time, etc. On the surface, it makes sense, but I am very worried about her being involved in an accident, never mind being killed, brain damage would very quickly change things. Am I just being an anxious father?
Jim

Dear Jim,
I do not think you are an anxious father, but rather, you are a concerned father. The road accident statistics are horrendous, Thailand having one of the worst records as far as road accidents are concerned. Have you ever noticed that Thai girls have a scar on the back of their right calf? Those are from burns from the exhaust pipe. Just because her friends have motorcycles is not a good enough reason for your daughter to have one. However, looking at the realities of it all, she will either ride herself, or go pillion with one of her friends. If she has her own motorcycle, you can insist on a high level of protective gear and a mandatory helmet (get a good one with full-face protection), as well as ‘crash bars’ on the motorcycle. You can also make sure she is competent at riding, through a school, and she does not ride without a valid license. In this way, if she does have an accident, the physical injury is less, and a good helmet, fastened up too, protects and brain and face. You should sit down with your daughter and discuss your fears; however, there will be other threats to your daughter’s health as she grows up. I hope nothing too drastic will happen to her.

Dear Hillary,
Is there any real way to tell if these Thai girls really fancy you, or is it just an act? I have met a nice one, we get along well together and we went to Phuket for a week and that was good, she says she loves me, but I’ve heard all this before and it was all just lies. I’d like to think this one is for real, but what is the way to find out? Help me Hillary before I get in too deep and get disappointed again.
James

Dear James,
I presume you met this young lady in a bar somewhere, James, as it is not so easy to get a girl holding down a good job from a traditional Thai family to just take a week off and go to Phuket with a foreigner she doesn’t really know all that well. This being the case, you always have to take into account that protestations of “love” are the bar girl’s stock in trade. Once she thinks she has you snared, then what you have to look out for are mothers with health problems requiring expensive medicines, brothers with broken legs, fathers with cancer and buffalos with hoof rot. All these conditions can only be cured with large lumps of money - yours! So in a nutshell, the “way to find out” is to listen to the requests for financial assistance. If they include help for family members, then that is the time for you to consider slipping on the running shoes. Got the message, Petal?

Dear Hillary,
I am thinking about buying a motorcycle but all the reports about theft has stopped me. Is it really as bad as people say? Have you any ideas on how to make a motorcycle “thief proof” or should I just stick to baht busses?
Valentino

Dear Valentino,
Motorcycle theft is a problem all over the world. Not just here. The answer is to be vigilant and lock the bike securely. Mind you, you can never be 100 percent secure.
 



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