Dear Hillary,
Does anyone else have this problem? My Thai wife of six years goes back to the
village to see her mother and grandmother about every six months. She tells me
she will be away for about three days, but it always stretches out to be around
a week. I am sure she isn’t playing up as she sends me photos of herself and the
family and where they’ve been. The main problem is with the children who miss
their mother very much, and don’t want to go to school, just in case they miss
their mother coming back home. Any suggestions, Khun Hillary?
Benjamin
Dear Benjamin,
You have now met the magnetic attraction in Thailand called “family”. When your
wife goes to see her relatives, they take first place when she is there. You and
the children only get first place when she is down here. What you should do is
schedule regular visits for her, and slot these into the school calendar, so the
children can go up to see their grandmother and great-grandmother at the same
time. “Family” always comes first, Petal. You should know that by now, having
spent a few years in Thailand.
Dear Hillary,
My teenage daughter wants a motorcycle for her birthday in August. She will be
17. She has all the good reasons as to why she should have a motorcycle, ease of
getting to school, all her friends have one, I wouldn’t need to pick her up all
the time, etc. On the surface, it makes sense, but I am very worried about her
being involved in an accident, never mind being killed, brain damage would very
quickly change things. Am I just being an anxious father?
Jim
Dear Jim,
I do not think you are an anxious father, but rather, you are a concerned
father. The road accident statistics are horrendous, Thailand having one of the
worst records as far as road accidents are concerned. Have you ever noticed that
Thai girls have a scar on the back of their right calf? Those are from burns
from the exhaust pipe. Just because her friends have motorcycles is not a good
enough reason for your daughter to have one. However, looking at the realities
of it all, she will either ride herself, or go pillion with one of her friends.
If she has her own motorcycle, you can insist on a high level of protective gear
and a mandatory helmet (get a good one with full-face protection), as well as
‘crash bars’ on the motorcycle. You can also make sure she is competent at
riding, through a school, and she does not ride without a valid license. In this
way, if she does have an accident, the physical injury is less, and a good
helmet, fastened up too, protects and brain and face. You should sit down with
your daughter and discuss your fears; however, there will be other threats to
your daughter’s health as she grows up. I hope nothing too drastic will happen
to her.
Dear Hillary,
Is there any real way to tell if these Thai girls really fancy you, or is it
just an act? I have met a nice one, we get along well together and we went to
Phuket for a week and that was good, she says she loves me, but I’ve heard all
this before and it was all just lies. I’d like to think this one is for real,
but what is the way to find out? Help me Hillary before I get in too deep and
get disappointed again.
James
Dear James,
I presume you met this young lady in a bar somewhere, James, as it is not so
easy to get a girl holding down a good job from a traditional Thai family to
just take a week off and go to Phuket with a foreigner she doesn’t really know
all that well. This being the case, you always have to take into account that
protestations of “love” are the bar girl’s stock in trade. Once she thinks she
has you snared, then what you have to look out for are mothers with health
problems requiring expensive medicines, brothers with broken legs, fathers with
cancer and buffalos with hoof rot. All these conditions can only be cured with
large lumps of money - yours! So in a nutshell, the “way to find out” is to
listen to the requests for financial assistance. If they include help for family
members, then that is the time for you to consider slipping on the running
shoes. Got the message, Petal?
Dear Hillary,
I am thinking about buying a motorcycle but all the reports about theft has
stopped me. Is it really as bad as people say? Have you any ideas on how to make
a motorcycle “thief proof” or should I just stick to baht busses?
Valentino
Dear Valentino,
Motorcycle theft is a problem all over the world. Not just here. The answer is
to be vigilant and lock the bike securely. Mind you, you can never be 100
percent secure.