Dear Hillary,
Sad to say I am not sure what I married. I met her on a bus in Pattaya in 2000 and she worked at a bank in Bangkok. I knew her or thought I did and four years I would see her every other month till she moved to North America where we married. We had two daughters and that is where things went off the rails. Not sure how or why. She felt imprisoned by the girls and me and she needed someone younger and richer who could understand her. Neither fit me at all it seems. So for the sake of her Thai family she left me and the girls sad as it is. I to this day will never understand how her family in Thailand would win over our two girls and me. But they did. Culture is a strange thing Hillary.
John R

Dear John R,
Yes indeed, different cultures put different emphasis on certain emotions. Not that I am trying to justify your wife’s actions, but you should take into account that Thais do not do well in foreign cultures (such as the US), especially if they have no Thai friends in the area and no outlets for Thai food ingredients. Was there no chance that you and the girls could have resettled in Thailand?

Dear Hillary,
I had an ant walking about on the lens of my glasses, how do you get it off?
Anyway to matters nearer your heart; gullible farangs. I like bars and my liver probably thinks I spend too much time there but the company and the view are great fun. Last week to my favorite barstool came a new dark and sultry girl who nestled up to me and hung in there. After I time I had got used to this and we subsequently went to a movie; same nestling. She spoke pretty good English but not all at once so we moved on to a day together which was pretty wonderful as she preferred nestling to talking. She started to tell me she was not the same as other girls (first warning bell); she wanted company not sex (2nd WB). The third day I took the day off to consider; contact being by messenger. 4th day she wanted to buy some cheese and I said I would get her some but no she wanted to choose her own but we still meet in Big C (3rd WB) which cost me rather more than only cheese. She had won the first round but she messages that she is really deeply sad person and doesn’t want to live (Round 2 starts with emotional blackmail).
Next day I don’t go out even though she messaged me that she was hungry. So onto the 6th day and suddenly she is a torrent of verbiage starting with extreme indignation that, when she had been hungry, I hadn’t rushed round and fed her. Her ‘friend’ joins in and we spend a bit of time ratcheting up the language. (Game Set & Match to me).
Question: Rather than writing books for farangs do you suppose the bargirls would be surprised to learn how transparent they are to us? Oh and forget the advice about the ant maybe tell us what is the Thai for ‘please stop talking’?
All in a days work.
PS I tried initializing ‘Game Set & Match’ but it didn’t look right!

Dear All in a days work,
I will answer the ant question. You hold the glasses under running water and the ant will not be able to don his scuba in time and will be swept away.
Now to your rather superficial description of life with a bar girl, which you were quite happy to go along with, while you thought you had the upper hand. However, when she applied the thumbscrews you called foul and now want the referee to penalize the perpetrator. Well, my Petal, you and your ilk certainly can see through the bar girl ploys, but it isn’t a very difficult task. And they can see through yours just as easily. If you want to play the beer bar games, just don’t get so serious.

Dear Hillary,
An old GF has contacted me to say that she has split from her husband, has packed in her job and is going home (up country). The SMS message was to tell me all that, and the request for some money as she hasn’t got any. I said I could spare her 10,000 baht, but that was all. Do you think that is a bit mean, or not? It wasn’t really a GF relationship, just a bit on the side for an afternoon of fun every month or so.
Jim

Dear Jim,
Why are you asking this question? You description of the relationship means she was really a ‘gik’, not a GF. You have no legal responsibilities, so whatever you like to give her is really up to you. You don’t know how many other men have been sent the same SMS, do you? Just be careful your wife doesn’t ask where the money went!