Dear Hillary,
Read with pleasure the mail from Craig about his finding a wonderful wife there in Thailand. I also was a widower and I could have written that letter. Our situations are identical. I married a wonderful Thai Lady 50 years old and we are now celebrating 12 years of wedded bliss. Everything Craig indicated in his letter was the same. So yes, there are others who have succeeded in finding that wonderful life partner. Love your column and faithfully read it every week. Keep up the good work.
Jerry and Tu Miller

Dear Jerry and Tu,
Thank you for the update. I remember when you had only been together for six years. You wrote, “After six happy years of marriage we are not only still together, but she is the love of my life and I of hers. Yes, there were cultural differences to overcome and yes I married the whole family. However we share a wonderful marriage here in the US and are looking forward to my retirement in the land of smiles. We own our own home, have money in the bank and will have a very comfortable retirement thanks to this wonderful lady.
I am sure my experience is not unique, but you just can’t find a diamond in a pig pen. Keep up the good work Hillary, enjoy your column every week.”
Well done, both of you! However, what you have brought out is that most people do not write to an Agony Aunt when they have no problems, such as yourselves and Craig. All Thai-Farang marriages are not the same, ATM cleared out and wife clears out as well. Sick buffaloes, brothers with broken legs and loan sharks about to take the family rice paddy. I have read them all. Thank you for showing there is a balance in this country, and not every Thai woman is on the make. By the way, has anyone got an old, discarded ATM with still some money in it/him? Please let me know!

Dear Hillary,
We are new here, but enjoy the finer things in life, food, wine, etc. Where would you recommend that we start looking. We are asking you as you are obviously a refined lady and would understand that we don’t want to go traipsing around the place, to end up being disappointed. We anxiously await your words of wisdom.
Jack and Anne

Dear Jack and Anne,
Oh my Petals, if only life were so simple. Chocolates, caviar and French champagne (vintage of course) delivered by a handsome young man to my office every day. Unfortunately, on my humble stipend, eating out is a som tum at the side of the street, and a large bottle of beer (they don’t sell it in small bottles). However, I do have the answer for you, and it is right here in your weekly Pattaya Mail. The Dining Out page will give you unbiased opinions of the local restaurants, and some tips on wines to go with the meal, all written by a lovely lady called Miss Terry Diner (say it quickly) and her Madame. I do know that the Dining Out team are very keen on some of the wine dinners offered by our major hotels. You can look them up in back issues of the Pattaya Mail on the web.

Dear Hillary,
I was told many years ago that you shouldn’t let your wife’s family come to stay with you, even just for a few days, as it always ends up for weeks or months. I thought I was lucky because it never happened to me. Relatives might stay one or two nights, but that was it. Recently things have changed a lot now with her brother and her cousin and her mother all staying in the house with us. They all stay in the one room which I think is a bit unhealthy, and they’ve been here for three months and there’s no sign of them leaving. I asked my wife about it but she just says it’s OK and they’ll be going soon after they brother and cousin have got jobs and mother is just having a holiday. What’s the next move, Hillary? I have a close family in the UK, but they wouldn’t come and stay for ever. Perhaps I should charge them rent?
Harry the House Husband

Dear Harry the House Husband,
You are now starting to see a little of what Thai society is all about, my Petal. Family reigns supreme, and it is usual for them all to sleep in the same room. It’s not unhealthy. It is Thai. When you got married, you joined a Thai family, much more than your wife joining your UK family. After all, you married a Thai lady and chose to live in Thailand. You would have to expect that Thai culture will be dominant. You can try voicing your reluctance to have them there, but be prepared for difficulties. This is your wife’s immediate family. You can always try to find them jobs - in a far away city. Lots of luck!