The Backyard Golf Society
We had our largest turnout for some while at the weekly Backyard Golf Society outing at Emerald last Friday. Don ‘the Divorcer’, the apex French-Canadian in our group invited along two new Francophiles, Terry ‘the Friar’ Tucker and Dwayne ‘the Hurricane’ Beaufort. By our reckoning we possess the largest contingent of Canucks outside Alberta at this time.
The big winner today, in more ways than one, was Dan ‘the Diet Whiskey Man’. Not only did Dan celebrate his (he says 67th) 109th birthday but he was also the winner of the main competition today with a great score of 41 points. His self-approved 32 handicap is proving to be very useful when he needs a few bob for a party.
Dan ‘the Diet Whiskey Man’ (3rd left) celebrates golfing victory and his birthday with the staff at Blue Sky Bar.
The near-pin prize today went to the old war-horse, Jimmy 2 Stone. He must average above a 50% winning ration on the par-3, 15th hole. The skins today were well spread out but ‘Diet Whiskey’ was the biggest winner again with 8. Russell ‘He’s a Victorian’ won 4, ‘Hurricane’ Beaufort won 2 as did ‘Golden Trowel’s Boyfriend’. ‘Foos yer Doos’ and Don ‘the Divorcer’ won 1 skin each.
Down the road for a few ales and for the first time ever the lovely Bun came around from behind the bar at Blue Sky to present the birthday boy with a single candle cake (they don’t make cakes large enough to hold 109 candles anyway!) and a sneaky massage. Dan’s special treat at Candy Bar, lots of popcorn, was devastated when ‘the Divorcer’ got wind of the event and promptly gave his impression of a bottomless pit and left poor old Dan with just a few pieces. ‘The Divorcer’, sporting a bandage and 6 stitches from a mysterious “I fell into a hole episode” at Crystal Bay on Wednesday always manages to find food.
It was also time to say farewell to Gavin – the only person we have ever seen in Thailand with a Norwich City shirt on – who was off back to Blighty on Sunday. His one-eyed caddy apparently gave him some fun moments during the golf round. It is a quite an achievement to take him all in with just one eye, the well-rounded gent that he is.