Crims, husbands and candles

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The Backyard Golf Society

After a few weeks with insufficient numbers for a competition, The Backyard Boys returned to action at Emerald last Friday, July 4.  With our members’ propensity for the unusual, self-destructive and unexpected, we have several items to report in addition to the golf of course.

First up, an honourable mention must go to our first Dongtan monkey-house player.  The Diet Whiskey Man’s refusal to accept his copious consumption of grog and the associated check-bin landed him with a one-night stay in the clink recently, although he does claim to have been the sole occupant in the cell and he has not picked up any new ailments or bizarre practices from his incarceration.  Apparently he became quite loud during his short stay and the lads in brown were only too happy to let him out at 8 a.m. shift-change.

Birthday boy ‘The Quiet Man’, Andy ‘Deadliest Catch’ Crabb and newly-wedded ‘The Biss’ celebrate with a staff member at the Blue Sky Bar.Birthday boy ‘The Quiet Man’, Andy ‘Deadliest Catch’ Crabb and newly-wedded ‘The Biss’ celebrate with a staff member at the Blue Sky Bar.

On to the golf and winner today was Andy “The Deadliest Catch” Crabb, his 42 points winning easily.  Near-pin went to Diet Dan, although those who did not witness the actual shot were somewhat skeptical about the miracle.  The skins were highlighted by the fact that the last 10 holes were all drawn so a large rollover to next week.  Deadliest Catch did win 6 and Foos yer Doos (pre-smash) won the other 2.

Down the road for The Quiet Man’s birthday bash and Foos yer Doos and his better-half were rear-ended (don’t get excited Dan!!!) at the intersection by a bloke in a car with no lights, no brakes apparently and no license.  Sensing the local custom of always blaming the farang for a causing a crash, Foos made a judicious withdrawal to the birthday cake and candles and left the boss to deal with the constabulary.  Watch this space next week for further updates as Foos goes after his compensation.

Whilst sipping a few ales we were also informed that The Biss has tied the knot again (as he himself said “she must be brave or stupid as my other 2 wives are dead.”)

Finally, welcome back to Second-hand Bob and his cute caddy.  Bob was wonderfully attired today with a Chelsea blue band-aid below his right knee; something he claims has improved his game no end?  Maybe Torres should wear one next season if he is still around.