Heart to Heart: Bank book on the first date

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Bank book on the first date
Dear Hillary,
Several times I’ve seen readers contact you asking advice on how to find a ‘real’ Thai girl – not a bar-girl – but a girl with a job and a career. My question is: if these men are too ugly, poor, stupid, uneducated or boring to find such a girl in their own countries, why do they think a Thai girl with a job and career would be interested in them?
David

Dear David,
You are being a bit hard on the lovelorn I feel. You are forgetting it takes two to tango. Have you ever stopped to consider that with the girls in his home country, it might be very difficult to form a relationship with them? Never mind the too ugly, poor, stupid, uneducated or boring. There are some Thai sisters of mine that could fit that description as well. You are, however, correct when you ask why would a Thai girl with a job and career be interested in them? Those ‘real’ Thai girls are looking for a husband from a well-connected family, not a farang who wants to be kept in the manner to which he would like to become accustomed.



How much for a “pretty”?
Dear Hillary,
One of the girls at work has told me that she wants to be a “pretty”, one of these girls in strange outfits that are seen at shows round the place. She isn’t a very beautiful girl but she says a friend of hers says she will get the job for her. Then she tells me she has to pay 20,000 baht to this woman to get the job. This sounds like a con to me. What do you think?
Gregory

Dear Gregory,
You are asking the wrong person, Petal. I didn’t even get second prize in the beauty contest, they wouldn’t even let me enter. It is, however, an ambition for many girls, so does leave itself open to fraudsters. With our government trying to stamp out corruption, these finder’s fees are just another type of ‘tea money’ but where the girls get enormous daily rates of pay it can (and will) happen. Of course they can only work for about five years if they are lucky. Not my cup of tea (money)!



Stamp out the naughty bits?
Dear Hillary,
They are supposed to be stamping out prostitution, but every bar you go to has girls in sexy dresses hanging off you in 30 seconds, making suggestions like “Go room”. I’m an Aussie and not a prude, but enough is enough. If we all stopped going to the bar after work, we could fix the prostitution problem in 3 months. Either that or close the bars.
Hamish

Dear Hamish,
Oh if only life were that simple. Closing the bars will not work. There are lots of ladies of the night along Beach Road, ready to take over. Do you honestly think all the massage parlors are only selling push and squeeze? I counted 11 from South Pattaya Road to the Avani, and that was only one side of the road. My Petal, I don’t think Pattaya is the place for you. Better go to Australia and Sydney’s King’s Cross – woops, they are there as well. Maybe Melbourne might be the place, but they’ve got St. Kilda? Or Amsterdam? Or Germany’s Reeperbahn? Why do you think it is called the world’s oldest profession? And are you suggesting closing the bars in Australia? The powers that be would be better occupied stamping out hunger perhaps?



Another one drowning in the sea of lust
Dear Hillary,
When you meet someone and you know they are the right person for you, it doesn’t matter whether they work in a bar or work in a university. That’s it, they are the one. You are in love. You go on a lot about finding good Thai women, but they are really all the same, so don’t keep on about it. If the girl comes from a bar, just enjoy and ignore the advice from silly old people like Hillary.
Jim

Dear Jim,
What a silly mixed up young boy you are. You are not describing “love” to me, Petal, you are describing infatuation. You are ignoring the fact that girls who work in the bars are in it for the money. Nobody forces them to work there. Undoubtedly a young inexperienced male like you will fall “in love” with a lady from the bar. It has been said many times, and this is not a Hillary original, but you can take a girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl.



Simple food
Dear Hillary,
There seems to be more restaurants than people these days. Some restaurants have nobody in them. Can you suggest a restaurant for my Mum and Dad who are coming over next month? They don’t eat fancy stuff, just good old British tucker.
Jack

Dear Jack,
I agree that there seems to be more restaurants than soi dogs these days, but the type of food you need for your parents is just simple British ‘pub grub’. Read the Dining Out column and you’ll find plenty of places, and as a starter try Jameson’s Irish Pub.